Post by Janice Olivia Monroe on Sept 23, 2010 0:45:56 GMT -6
Counsel
mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
Brother Diarmuid O'Corrain
As the Lady Viscreed drew nearer the apartments given over to Borther Diarmuid, might she wonder at what she heard? "Confiteor Deo omnipotenti et vobis, fratres, quia peccavi nimis cogitatione, verbo, opere et omissione: mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa...." As he recited the Confiteor, the Lady would hear another rhythmic sound. The door, being but a bit ajar, would reveal him knelt before his personal alter. Praying forgiveness from God and using a knotted length of cord to mortify his flesh. (D)
Lady Janice Viscreed
The Latin was translated in an instant by the able mind. All the ear had to do was take it in, the mind began to pick apart the syllabic repetition in contrite monotone. What was he atoning for? Was it a daily practice to show his subjection to the Lord? A knotted chord went against his clothed back, yet still, it made her jump but a little to see the beginning of the harder devotions. It could be much worse she reminded herself, looking longer than one ought linger at the door of a man, let alone a holy man. With that in mind the small one oft refered to as The Angel knocked. How strange! An angel come to visit a priest in perpetual prayer. "Pardon me, Brother O'Corrain, I came to see if you needed anything?" (d)
Brother Diarmuid O'Corrain
There was a pause, in both the prayer and the flagellation, as he heard the knock. For a moment, there was a furrow of his brow. Then a soft smile, as he recognized the voice. "Enter, please, milady." As she entered, she would find him putting the knotted cord - which he coiled into a neat circle - beside his alter. It seemed as though Brother Diarmuid was truly atoning something... For despite it being the dinner hour, the only sustenance on his table was a pitcher of beer and a loaf of bread (it was certain that it had been sprinkled with ash). "Please, come in." (D)
Lady Janice Viscreed
"Do I disturb your prayer, if so I may return.." Gentle, the voice came over his threshold as she pushed back the door with ease so it wouldn't reosund on the wall. It seemed like entering his room was to be like entering a cathedral. The sparse, naked decor of it reminded her of a cathedral stripped for Lenten season, a reminder of the somber nature that brought all of them to salvation in Christ. "Thank you sir. Are you certain it is not a bother to you?" Her face wore the blush of one who was embarrased to stumble on something so sacred, strange, and beautiful. (d)
Brother Diarmuid O'Corrain
There was a soft smile, "You do not, milady...." After a moments hesitation, he would look down softly. After a moment's pause, he would say, "...In truth, I am glad that you stopped by." He would raise his eyes to met her own, "If you would be so kind... I would beg a few moments of your time. For I am greatly troubled by yesterday's unpleasant events...." For all of his want of confession, Brother Diarmuid had not yet gone to the cathedral to seek it. Still, he felt as a great deal of weight was upon his soul. From all accounts, Brother Diarmuid knew the Lady Viscreed as a good and pious soul.... (D)
Lady Janice Viscreed
'Brother by all means, let us speak if it is your pleasure" She came in to take residence on a humble stool beside a wall, not wishing to intrude the space by sitting on his bed or too near his altar, it seemed not the right thing to do. Diarmuid was a sacred being; he was the peace of the convent, the chants of passing monks in other lands, the devotion of a body of people who at any time of day knelt to remember the true sovereign, the Lord of Lords, the King of Kings. "What troubles you most of all? I would say were it not for you, who knows what may have come to pass. Such things in the country are not unaccustomed to happening..I have heard, such drunken, ribbald displays." What could weight on the soul of a man who lifted the weight of other souls? (d)
Brother Diarmuid O'Corrain
Quietly, Brother Diarmuid would take a quiet seat at his table. There was a smile, a pause, before he asked, "If milady wishes it.... I shall ring for refreshment...." As he spoke, Brother Dairmuid would tear a small piece of bread from his loaf and eat it. Livened with ash, so as to keep Brother Diarmiud from desiring more. After a few moments, Brother Diarmuid asked, "Are you familiar with how I came to be in the service of Madame St Laurence?" Like the Bible itself, it was tale that often had moments both adventurous and introspective. Such was the life of Knight Hospitaller... After a moment, he said, "There was a time, when I was held in bondage to a Moorish physician.... I often felt as though it was God's way of showing unto me the true path that He had laid down. It was not my calling to war in His name.... but truly give His love to the beggar....the infirm....the cripple... That is why I was given into the care of the physician.... and why I under take such charity now..." There was a sigh, "I feel as though I have not only gone against the way He has shown me...but broken a compact that I made with Him. For when I returned to Rhodes, I had sworn to never again take up the sword - save in defense of the poor - and yet... I know that my actions caused the death of that wayward soul...." (D)
Lady Janice Viscreed
"That won't be needed Brother, I have already supped for the evening, thank you for the kindness." He ate so plain. Ashed bread to feed the belly of a man when what was put on the tables was enough to feed many. There were many here to feed. So much money yet he desired none of it but what he could take to help others. He was becoming an inspiration to a young life which cleaved to God as nothing else could. So many members of the nobility, of the courtly class were as civic in their religious as ancient Romans to the worship of their Gods. A small sparrow sat high upon her bosom whilst strung beneath it was the sign of the cross. Christ's passion ever close to one of his beloved children. "Master Laruence has imparted a little of the tale to me. Of your path and how it came to meld with our own. You are such a goodly man, God is so pleased to have you I would imagine in his service. Small as Iam to try to fathom his will." Gentle hand touched the top of his own while the brow furrowed. Was that the weight he carried? "Sir, you defended the meek and the children. Things went awry that you could not predict, such as the Aramoire guards and the extreme measures they used. You wish to preserve blood for life, not spill it in Death, but that was not of your choosing. You chose to defend us, and there must be no sin in that. What sin would there now be that you have not atoned for, as you pray, and so humbly live and demonstrate the Gospel before us in a world made by opulence? You minister sir, to all that christ so minsitered to. The leper, the dying, the dead, the mute, the blind, the lame and the dumb, and you minister among those who would cause all the states of Christ visitiation on others. It is hard to grasp, I know this must weigh on your soul as you seek to save ours but the Madame believes, with all her soul, that God called her to do what none else could do. Called all of them to bare the weight of work as the shoulders of the ordained bare the crown. Go a little lighter in knowing your work though dark may it go...how could God not love his chosen of the cloth? I refuse to believe sir that you will always be haunted by these things." (d)
Brother Diarmuid O'Corrain
Perhaps it had been a want of this - a want of human contact (no matter how chaste) and approval voiced - that Brother Diarmuid had desired. For, since his formative years, there had been no mother save the Church and no father save God. All children needed the love of both, but for him? There had moments where he had felt the divine touch of God - his life saved after being lost to the sea, the warmth that had come upon him from time to time in the winter cold, and other subtle times - it was not the same as a father praising a son's deed with a pat on the head. Nor was the hymns sung at Compline a true substitute to a mother's lullabies. Still, he did not doubt for a moment had he had innumerable brothers - for those who bore the Amalfi cross were surely his brothers - that was all the true family he had. Did some of this show through, when his devotions tended toward the zealous? As she would speak to him, he would watch her so. Mayhap even design to smile? After a moment he would say, "I thank you for your kind words, milady. It does me a great deal of good, to hear you speak those words." That she was of a pious reputation? Did much to lift his spirits. "I find that there is truth in them... for even the Scriptures remind us that when our path becomes fraught with danger, God is still there to protect us." Psalm 23:4. "To comfort us." It was perhaps a moment of weakness, one that had passed all the quicker thanks to the Lady Viscreed's kind words. "My soul feels much lighter, now." Still, he was apt to take himself to the cathedral and make confession to Archbishop Meurig for the sake of receiving the Church's absolution. (D)
Lady Janice Viscreed
The absolution of the Body of the Lord through his heirs in apostolic succession could lend a succor no pious woman could,no matter how devout. She smiled as his burden lifted as to not make his body look as if nothing would ever pick it up again. Gently her other hand touched the one that was free, clasping them, "I'm glad, you shouldn't be aggrieved for being in defense of those that needed you. More so I am glad that all proved to be well. I am sorry if you feel I may have trod in the path of your good works? I only wished to see all was truly well when Edward disappeared so fast. Brother, I still worry for them, Mistress Mean looks as if all the world is on her. I know what that feeling is like. Should it be your pleasure will you take some coin to them in the form of thatch for their roof, or an animal? I feel that if I were to appear with it myself she would never accept. There is pride to be found in work, and charity received in lieu of work is hard for some. Yet the fall winds and then winter won't discriminate. My heart will break to think of them in any way unwell." She would have made a fine nun, no? God had another way for her, another task to complete. She represented something to the hall lest for all the world why would such a golden globe hang in a dark world even for all the light it omitted? (d)
Brother Diarmuid O'Corrain
"Worry not, milady, for you sought to do a good deed for Mistress Mean and young Edward....showing true kindness and love toward your neighbor." There was a smile, a light squeeze of her hand. "In truth... I should have remembered to take the boy's book with us. And I am sorry to have caused you concern. I merely wished to reunite the boy with his guardian." There was a polite incline of his head, "I worry for them as well, milady.... I have already admonished Mistress Mean against giving way to the sin of Pride, when winter comes. While I am glad that Mistress Mean finds her situation improved, I know that even in winter a free holder might have cause to turn to the Church for alms." And that such action was often the difference between life and death. There was a smile, "You are very generous and I would consider it an honor to take such a gift to them." There was a pause, "I myself worry over young Edward... a harsh life he must have had living in the Underdark. I cannot help but think that yesterday's events did him no good." Another reason his soul had been weighted by the events of the previous day. There was a nod of his head, "What you say is true....the harsh fall winds and the winter cold do not discriminate." After a moment's pause, he said, "I too worry for those of the Underdark...who have no shelter when the winds turn chill." (D)
Lady Janice Viscreed
"The sin of Pride is one hard to conquer, we all struggle with it." She crossed herself in remembrance of her own faults. She struggled with vanity every day as she grew more and more determined to love whom she loved, spare whom she would spare. She had spurned the help of wise people in order to stumble along in the unknown world for the sheer sake of saying ' I had done so!' Even now she had aspects of her life hidden in the dark that no dutiful woman who posed to live as daughter or sister would harbor, but it wasn't her choice alone to share that. "Those of the Underdark are poor but blessed by God with a hearty countenance. They would outlive the nobility themselves, believe me. Households will pass but they will endure, because they are less fortunate it is my belief God loves them better. It is easier to go through the gates of heaven poor than wealth burdened, such as Christ says a camel better passes through the eye of a needle than a rich man through heaven, too weighed with earthly things." Good way it way it was to suggest that the people of the Under-dark moved in bands, tribes, that held their own governance over one another. Unspoken law moved the underdark citizens from place to place, rules of conduct and judgement was placed by the Gypsy King, the Goblin King, or his charges. Whores were as princess folk, thieves pauper-princess. In the Cat's Eye Tavern she knew Mama Fortuna to be the Oracle of Delphi and Carmen to poor libations like an Aquarius symbol. She had walked through the valley of the literal shadow of death and come across the other side. As thick of a place teeming with evil, sometimes it was easier to trust blatant, off kilter individuals than it was those who deemed goodness but were wolves in sheep's clothing. (d)
Brother Diarmuid
Brother Diarmuid would incline his head, "It is a Sin that we *all* struggle against." In this too, he crossed himself. It was not so unusual to see it rise amongst his Augustinian brothers in a form perverse. For those who had taken a vow of humility, the sin of Pride often manifested as 'I am more humble than thou'. There was a smile, as he listened to the Lady Viscreed's words. "Be that as it may ,it would be wrong of us to refuse them aide when they need it.....For all of their - " he paused. 'Sinful' seemed too strong a word. "Their impious ways.... they are still amongst the very poor. And thus deserving of our charity." After a moments pause, he said, "I believe that once more shall I be called upon to send the neophytes out to gather donations of warm clothing and blankets....." It was likely that it would not be the last time, for it would be a task routinely undertaken until the thaw. After a moment's thought, he said, "I understand that there is a hospital in this city? What can you tell me of it? Does it offer service to the poor?" Many a physician did not. (D)
Lady Janice Viscreed
"God will grant you success in your endevors. No one is more deserving of such charity than the people near the Labyrinth. They are what people wish to forget, what they wish to acknowledge they never become when all was lost. Some might even see the inside of themselves inside the twisted human countenances that made the population. "I am glad the household has you, Brother. There is a certain sense of calm, of peace I have noticed in some and a revival of faith in others. You are a wonderful being." Sweet, sweet young child. Everything in the house had so twisted a story somewhere yet the man infront of her had a story that was normal by leagues, a story of what many others before him had endured or overcome. Part of her wanted to cleave to it as she found reason to cleave, to serve with all her heart this place, with all her mind, body, and soul. He was like a walking reminder that God had not abandoned any of them. (d)
Brother Diarmuid O'Corrain
The good brother nodded his head quietly, taking in the lady's words. While all of the Underdark deserved succor... if such unfortunates she described were near the Labyrinth, then so to would he go. (Although, he was not naive. While he venture there to do acts of mercy, he would still be armed and armored....) "Perhaps I shall speak with the Archbishop on that matter, so that we might see if there is a course open to us...." Although such a course was likely to require the blessing of both Crown and Pontiff. He yet hoped that both would agree to a merciful endeavor. Then he would smile and laugh softly, "While I mean no insult.... I do think your kind words, Lady Viscreed, only serve as a reminder against the sin of Pride." It was truly meant as a jest and not a reproach. (D)
Lady Janice Viscreed
"You did ask if there was a hospital, forgive me..there is. There is a grand Infirmary with many wings for many ailments or a condition, where there are those skilled in all areas of medicine who would care for them, monied or no, it is a matter of distrusting between classes I am certain that prevents there going up, and the dangers of the under-dark that prevent many from going down. Not all were as they behaved toward you sir. Many to be honest, would slit their throats and medicate themselves on their ointments, grow addicted to their herbs and all other manner of vices. If there were a way to bring what is up closer to what is below that would be very servicable for all." She suggested to him, for charity was a wonderful service but not all were as Mean, edward, or the hands that reached. He knew already, some of them would reach out to thieve him, cut him to ribbons if he broke some unwritten, unspoken idealic code they had. "You will pardon me for saying, but it would behoove you perhaps, sir, to speak with the Masters in ways best to deal with the Under-dark. So you may go about your holy duties as well as see them fall victim to no ill." (d)
Brother Diarmuid O'Corrain
After a few moments of thought, Brother Diarmuid nodded quietly. "I do believe that you are correct, milady, that I shall consult with the Masters of the Ebon Talon....." There was a moments pause, before he said, "And with my own Grand Prior." He spoke of Grand Prior Philip de Thame, who oversaw the various preceptories and monasteries that the Knights Hospitaller maintained in England, Ireland, and Scotland. "Perhaps it is as you say....and if so, even the needy of the Labyrinth need not go without proper medicinal care..." The idea of an alms house had been planted within the good brother's mind. And if the Labyrinth was as cut throat as he was lead to believe? Then who better to administer it than the Knights Hospitaller? No only would the holy order give aide to the wound, but the brothers would likely be able to protect themselves as well. (D)
Lady Janice Viscreed
"You were sent here for many reasons I think, and they reveal themselves more by the day. I'm glad that you've come." She admitted, giving a nod of approval that he should seek what advice best befit the matter for the under-taking wouldn't be one of small magnitude in the least. It would be grandiose in scope for the location would be anything but pleasant. Didn't suffering broaden the soul? "You will do many wonderful things though people may not always think it so, I will, if it counts for anything." She smiled in such a way as to break apart the dark with the warm sun that seemed to be as ingrained in her being as breathing. At times she had made people sick on trying to ingest the better qualities, easy to pick on folk like that. Now it was who she was. It had been a defense mechanism, but what should she have done, laid down to die? (d)
Brother Diarmuid O'Corrain
"As am I," he said. Although he agreed with her that his ash livened bread and life of prayer was a form of penance... perhaps he was still daunted by how much blood he had shed in the name of God. Even so, penance or not, those of the Labyrinth were still deserving of succor. "It counts for much, milady," There was a smile. "For are we not fashioned from clay?" He would lightly tug on the front of his habit, "Beneath this, I am still mortal...with both the strength and weakness that it brings." There was a smile, "I do believe that God long ago charged the clergy with carrying His love to all of His creations.... if that is so, then His love is unconditional." There was a nod of his head, "When last I ventured down to the Underdark, a woman came before and said that what I did there was good.... because the people of the Underdark are very poor. And I told her true. I do merciful works, because they are good acts ... and because the people of the Underdark are very poor." (D)
Lady Janice Viscreed
"That is the truth on all accounts sir, you are also very wise. I hope you will remain with us for a long time, many years I pray that may be." He confessed his mortality, that is what any master was. He had not hard to work to earn his place among the fabled few, yet he had done so with his works of faith before he proved the strength of his hand. She took his hand and put her head on it with a warm smile, "Thank you again, for coming to us Brother. There are many here that need you, and they don't know it yet." She wondered if his talking would quell the lightning building in Jean-Claud's soul, or the sorrow-gardens in St. Laurence. She wondered if he might bring Inveryne to smile or give those in need of peace who were harbored here, such as Ana-Catalina and her husband Seithfed, more of it. Let it be so, for they needed so many things just as much as everyone needed one another. "There are so many things that have happened to us father, in these but the Household's first few years that happened not to my Masters in their other years elsewhere. They are tried and tested so much. We all are." A little tear rolled out of her eye between his fingertips. She hadn't realized it had fallen, or that her soul was trying to pry itself open. Maybe this man could turn Julian to God again in reconciliation, for she believed Julian thought God had damned him. If not, than perhaps lay the stone to build the bridge so Julian could start his own walk. She wished she could ask him things, but it wasn't all her story to tell. She'd always say that. (d)
Brother Diarmuid O'Corrain
There was a smile, as he said, "Child, let it never be doubted that I shall stay in service to the Household...." There was a few moments pause, before he said, "For here, I have found a flock in need of a shepherd.....when I was a shepherd in need of a flock." As he watched the Lady Viscreed put her head on his hand. There was a soft smile, as he watched her features. There was a slight opening of his mouth, as he sought to speak. Then he was quiet for a time. Then he said gently, "Then let them have need....for I shall stay here. It is true that from time to time God sets before a test of faith.... and we foolishly believe that we are forsaken." There was a smile, "We must remember that we are long. God does love us. What God afflicts us with, is done so we might become an improved vessel of His divine will. Whether that be to teach us such virtues as humility and love of our fellow man... or to correct our path when we have strayed. If there is any doubt of where we stand, we must always place God in front of us. For we cannot be shaken then. For we move into the Lord's embrace." (D)
Lady Janice Viscreed
"Brother Diarmuid some can not help what God has given them, or it drives them so mad that at other times it seems another's doing." She couldn't bring herself to say Satan. Suddenly all her thoughts fell on the boy who saw demons where none existed, who felt his chest rip with dragons clawing at he cage of his ribs. She hadn't meant to take advantage of his presence in this matter of comfort but when so many doors were only half open it seemed his would open full, welcoming."Brother O'Corrain, The Master Laurence has taken a successor for her maiden arts, I remain so for all matters of her recording and other intelligence, but I can not kill as they kill, she would not wish that upon me or visit it upon me. The skill is not unknown for self defense - but..the successor she shall place it all in, his vessel is filled with so much worry, pain, doubt." Madness. It was filled with Madness. "He will not come to you himself, nor do I ask you to approach him in anything but introduction, no reproach him. I humbly ask, should you notice Julian Monroe, will you but smile to him? He may become fascinated with you because no such man has lived in the hall with such devotion as you. He is not religious, he claims no belief in God though I do not belief he is an athiest. He is lost, and hurting and I fear for him. Will you please ease his mind?" It was all she could ask short of telling him that Julian Monroe was mad and some believed him possessed by demons, but she wouldn't agree to that form of extremism. Or was he? At any rate he was mentally ill. "Will you pray heartily for my masters and all within this hall? I should ask for all but I can not help but to ask for him." Because I love him. (d)
Brother Diarmuid O'Corrain
Brother Diarmuid sighed softly, before he said gently, "We must remember our Scriptures, child....For we are but God's creations, fashioned out of base clay. Thus the Lord's will is unknowable, and His purpose inscrutable. Then all that we may do, is trust in God's love for us." The pause, "For that much was revealed to Job, by the Lord God." In all truthfulness, the Book of Job and Leviticus were the portions of Scripture that Brother Diarmuid was loathe to use as material for Mass. And yet, for all that he said, he would listen to the Lady Viscreed's words. How her pleas would reach unto his very heart. Gently, he would soothe, "Ease your mind, child." His free hand would come up, to touch the crown of her head in blessing. "If this matter is so greave as to cause you such concern, I pledge to you that I shall see the young master out." There was a soft smile, "I will seek him out, so that I may do all I can for him. So that I may offer what succor I can....so that he may be relieve of pain... worry...and doubt." There was a soft smile, "I shall bring what comfort to his mind that I can." And if it was truly thought that Julian Monroe was indeed possessed? Then in the name of Christ, the Lord, would Brother Diarmuid put his faith against the forces of the Adversary. (D)
Lady Janice Viscreed
"Job was beset by God for he and the Lucifer wondered long on what would make him turn to one or the other. They smote his children, his riches, all his goods yet still he was a man of God, but before those things were returned to him surely one man among the many unlisted in Scripture could not stand to see him suffer so, or woman. One would cry out to God please have mercy. Jonah was in the belly of a whale cast, and this is Julian, He is afflicted like Job and as alone in feeling as Jonah, but so much is just..hurting him and I can not stand in either way to watch it and do nothing." She squeezed her eyes and became aware of the tears that leaked from them in to his hands. He promised to offer succor, to guide the most lost sheep of the flock who stood on the edge of the forest, so close to being devoured by wolves. The true horror of it was that he was half by half. He was one of his own mutations, twisting, writhing in the woods with demon howls. She was having such nightmares in fear for his mind, his soul, yet they were oddly soothed by sleeping in his arms at night. She favored the second comfort over the first horror. For all of it he could alleviate her every fear as he brought all things to light in the harsh lens of his sarcasm. She sighed, calming herself. "Thank you sir, I apologize for my state. The hour grows late and I should take myself home. Thank you." She kissed his fingers as she came from the stool to her knees. (d)
Brother Diarmuid O'Corrain
"It is alright," he soothed. "If what is said, then he is but a lost lamb." There was a gentle smile, "Being a good shepherd, is it not my task to care for him and bring him once more to the flock." And if the lamb was indeed at the edge of the woods? Then, mayhap, Brother Diarmuid would be called to defend it from wolves. There was a gentle, "Please, let it trouble your mind no more. It is good that you have brought this to my attention, for now I may aide you both." There was a smile, "There is no cause to apologize, milady, for truly you care about this man." It was said gently, for perhaps she had not been intent to show her love for him? "I shall do what I can. I swear to you and God." There was a gentle smile, "Do you require one of the house to see you safely on your journey?" (D)
Lady Janice Viscreed
"Thank you, thank you sir thank you. You have helped a part of my mind marvelous much that no secular counsel could ever help." She came to her feet, brushing at the imaginary flecks of dust. It was late, who would care? She had turned to leave as Diarmuid mentioned an evident truth in all her pleading, to which she nodded, "He was my partner on a recent venture, we've grown together side by side these last few years. We have not always been well in disposition toward one another, but he is my family. My friend." Her lover. Her husband. "Worry not over my escort, Brother O'Corrain, it is always that I am escorted." It would be one of the many things he would learn as he came to understood each person in the halls, the structure, their secrets. (d)