The Road Back to Her Heart

[Sir Dmitrii Zurban]

The Road Back to Her Heart

Morning would find Dmitrii, at home, with a headache. Not only from the whiskey, but the blow Odis, the Bailiff had given him. Erin came to him in the sitting room Willa once graced, and asked… “M’Lord, there are bards at the door, soliciting for a song… shall I give them leave or would a song soothe yer mood…” Dmitrii nodded… “Da, spa see bah…” [Yes thank you] Erin then made his way to the door and bade the three bards inside the home… the two men and one woman continuously thanked Erin as they unloaded a highly ornate, yet old harp from the wagon… Carrying it into Dmi’s music room and prepared to sing for a few pennies…

Moments later Dmi came in… and formal greetings were dispensed… Once the Lord had sat comfortably, the group took their places… the girl behind the harp, the two young men, one with a stringed instrument, the other with a small drum. “To where do yu travel…?” Dmi asked, the baritone voice soft but dignified as per station.

“Tae Turas Lan M’Lord, tis been a laeng time since we come home… Ah and Tommy…” she indicated the lad with the stringed instrument… “ twas born dere, but spent most o’mae life in Aberdeenshire… been the last two years in Glasgow, where we met Angus…” she now indicated the lad with the drum… “we wish tae perform at home naew…”

“Then play on lass…” Dmi ordered as he sat back comfortable in the chair. The trio began to play… soon the lass began to belt out tunes that would strike at Dmitrii’s heart strings…

May it be…

[/i][/url]

It’s in the rain… [/i][/url]

The Celts[/i][/url]

When Darkness Falls[/i][/url][/center]

The bards completed their performances with the applause of all those in the household that heard… Dmi rose and handed them a few bronze coins to show his appreciation.

After the bards had departed, Dmi sat at his desk, attempting to remember the song for Willa. Dipping the pen, he began to write German….

My Dearest Willa,
“Herzen sind defekt, die unsagbaren Lügen… Liebe hat gefunden, dass ich ganz entwaffnet und ich nicht den Weisenfreien raum kennen, um Ihr Herz zu erreichen, dieses selbst ist durch meine Augen frei, die die Hallen und die Türen der Risse geworden sind.”
[[Hearts are broken, lies untold… Love has found me all disarmed and I know not the way clear to reach yer heart, this itself is clear through my eyes which have become the halls and doors of tears.]
Mag es… ein Abendstern sein… Glanz unten nach Ihnen…
[May it be… an evening star… Shines down upon you…]
Mag es sein…, wenn Schwärzung fällt… Ihr Herz ist zutreffend… Sie gehen eine einsame Straße… Oh! Wie weit Sie vom Haus sind!
[May it be… when darkness falls… Your heart will be true… You walk a lonely road… Oh! How far you are from home!]
Schwärzung ist gekommen… Glauben Sie, dass… und Sie finden Ihre Weise…
[Darkness has come… Believe… and you will find your way…]
Schwärzung ist gefallen… Eine Versprechung lebt innerhalb Sie jetzt…
[Darkness has fallen… A promise lives within you now… ]
Mag es… der Anruf des Schattens sein… Fliegt weg…
[May it be… the shadow’s call… Will fly away… ]
Mag es… Sie sein Reise auf… Zu den Tag beleuchten,
[May it be… you journey on… To light the day,
Wenn die Nacht wird überwunden… Sie können steigen, um die Sonne zu finden
[When the night is overcome… You may rise to find the sun ]
Schwärzung ist gekommen… Glauben Sie und Sie findet Ihre Weise…[Darkness has come… Believe and you will find your way…]
Schwärzung ist gefallen… Eine Versprechung lebt innerhalb Sie jetzt… Eine Versprechung lebt innerhalb ich jetzt
[Darkness has fallen… A promise lives within you now… A promise lives within me now]
My heart is yours,
Dmitrii

He knew not what else to say… he had done the damage and in hopes he had made the repairs….

The young woman said nothing... or well not much at all to anyone around her. The simple sadness seemed to linger and cloud over everything she touched or laid eyes upon. The swords still sat tucked away within her bedroom. Her chores finished for the evening as she found herself dismissed... and again... alone. How absolutely foolish of her… how her heart missed his smiles... her skin his touch... and her lips... his kisses. She had attempted to write a letter several times... but cast each into the flames of the hearth. When the letter was brought to her by one of the servants she couldn't keep the smile from her face as she brushed her fingers across the coarse paper.

She slipped away to her favored spot upon the wall… the very spot in which she had met the man she had chased away with her words. Her foolish stupid words… how she wished a thousand times over to take them back. With a glance around her to ensure she was alone... only then did she open the letter.

The tears touched her eyes as she read over the words, their scrawling print in her native tongue... as she bit into her lower lip and once it was finished her eyes sought out those stars that began to shine through the evenings dusting. While she held the letter to her heart.

She did not reply right away...though the letter did not leave her pocket. Folding it neatly there... she began to emerge slowly from the shell of darkness she had delved into. It was perhaps three days if that later… that the letter would be returned to his door.

My Dearest Lord Zurban,

I fear I am at a loss for words... for a simple apology does seem so very pathetic to the harm in which I have inflicted upon your heart. I can do little now but beg that you forgive me of my youthful ignorance. I had inquired of your past... then I foolishly judged you for it. I can not explain my sincere sadness or the emptiness your return to your home estates has left within me. Perhaps that is my worst failing, the fact that my opinions are so limited by merely what I have experienced. If by chance there is a single part of you that wishes my presence... please... allow this of me that I may apologize to your face… To gain the chance to look into those stormy eyes of yours, to allow myself to feel safe again within the embrace of your arms. For I fear there is nothing within my mind now but the wretched torment in which I have cast upon you.

With all of my heart…
Willa

The days had past before he received the letter… and when he did he was ecstatic… and down-hearted, for on that day he was to leave with Adam on a political mission to Norway with Adam… they were expected to be gone for over a week… which would have doubled the pair’s separation…

The letter on course writing material was held to his lips, of which he could smell her on it… THAT in itself made him smile. Sometimes have keen senses were a blessing as well as a curse, as he would miss her even more now, though he stuck the letter in his vest.

Sitting down at his desk, once again dipping the quill into the inkwell, he wrote….

To The Lady Who Holds My Heart,

Your letter was well received… there is no apology necessary, for you did nothing wrong… It is in yer right to judge me, IF you have a need to know of someone yu wish to build a foundation with… for yu want to be sure of what rock yer foundation is…

Yu are smart for yer youth… and I pray that when I return we can see one another more regular… Aye, I depart with Lord Adam this eve to Norway… we shall be gone a week at least… Fear not, for if yu desire, I shall see yu upon my return… In the meantime, ponder upon the wall where we met, just as nightfall comes,… look to the sea and watch for my return… and at the same time, I shall look to the south and ponder yer beauty in the moonlight…

I shall be the man yu need… and the knight a steed to protect yu… Do not be haughty, but remember yer station does not mandate yer life, for yu mean more to me that any station on high, or below… Remember one thing above all others… my heart belongs to yu now… do with it what yu will…

Yers til Death and beyond…
Dmitrii

Bags packed and loaded, Dmitrii stood upon the gangplank and looked back… the messenger trotted toward the Griffin Castle as the men lifted the wooden walkway from the ship. Adam met Dmitrii and men talked as they went below to discuss the trip.

The letter came into the eager hands of the maid as the messenger could only laugh as she burst into giggles. The skirts caught in a hand as she made her way to the garden, simply a place of privacy to read his words. The letter brought joy and dismay to her heart as she hadn't known he was leaving... though the reassurances of his affection, had countered just that. The heartbreak shuddered a bit as she sighed and closed her eyes… it was so easy to draw up his face and his eyes into her mind. He had stated he did not care as to her station... while he had said such before... the argument had indeed proven to her that he was honest with her. Even if such honesty would be harmful to his own heart... as well as her own. Honesty with Willa was the most important thing. Period.

However it brought the warming to that chilled heart of hers, though it also seemed to bring courage. Such courage was well needed now, as the girls such as Caroline were becoming far more bold in their tormenting. "Do not become haughty" by his own words... but also do not allow one's self to become a doormat either. Of which she knew very well that her mother would be looking sour upon her from the gates of heaven. She closed her eyes and brought the letter to her lips and pressed a soft kiss to it. As if that would carry it to the man that penned the letter.

She could very well admit it to herself… that she loved the man… and those things that occurred within his past, were exactly that. His past. She was his future... and well she damn well would begin acting like it. Cowering and hiding from the harsh words and spiteful actions of the other girls. She did not want him to return home and be ashamed that she had hidden like a child... and it isn't to say that Willa herself didn't have something of a mean streak in her... as she folded up that beautiful letter and tucked it into her pocket. As for now... she had chores to do... and a ship to look for once they were complete. [/font]

[Sir Dmitrii Zurban]

The sea rolled the ship and the waves splashed upon the decks… the storm had come from no where, catching the passengers unawares… Dmitrii and Adam sat in the cabin laughing and drinking after a good meal for a ship’s crew… It was then that Adam informed Dmitrii that they would be going to Oslo, then on to Vienna, and then to Glasgow… and they would be gone almost 4 weeks… maybe 5… Of course, Dmitrii’s heart sunk…

A month or more before he could see the girl from the wall… At least she would not have to worry, as the Civil War were behind them now… Now come the politics, of which Dmi didn’t enjoy, but as the Duke’s right hand man, and confident, he would follow his friend to the end of the world.

The sea was calm… seven days later and the ship was sailing into port… Dmitrii had witnessed more than he ever wanted to know about the sea and its masters. A smile crooked his beard in the familiar manner when his boots finally struck solid earth. He and his Duke were met by official leaders of the government and soon Adam would address the King…

Meanwhile Dmi dressed the formal part in black and gold shirt and trousers, complementing Adam before the royal court. His mind kept reflecting back to Willa… oh how he has missed her… He took the time to write her again…

To My Dearest Willa,
I write to you from Norway… tis a beautiful area, snow still covers the peaks. A bit dryer than Scotland, but still a chill lingers upon the night air. Lord Adam says that the trip may be some 50 days… a long time not to see yer beautiful smile, and adoring eyes…

I want you to know that my letters shall accompany Lord Adam’s…he has granted me royal privilege of his carrier birds… If yu could see me, I would be smiling now, knowing yu are but a script away… yu may write me and have it sent with Lady Bess’ scripts…

I want yu to know… I am so apologetic for my past… hate me not as yu belong in my future, as someone special and permanent… this absence has taught me how much yu are missed… and all shall be right, if yu shall have me…

I pray tis nay improper to say something in writing that I have failed to do in person… but my love for yu… needs to be declared…

I love you Willa…
Dmi

Folding the short note and handing it to Adam… who in turn gave it to his carrier handler… the hawk flew higher and higher after leaving the gloved man perch. Dmi just smiled… then looks to Adam… “Well, I told her… now we shall see…” Adam just smiled… Of course men, best friends, talked… what else do yu expect?

The first week of his traveling had left the young woman lonely and avoiding the courts as much as possible. Things had not gone well with the Ladies dinner. Though she expected that was that little harlot Caroline's doing. When once more the messenger arrived with the letter in hand she stared at him for a long moment before taking it. The cant of her head was given as she looked over the script then felt her heart skip a beat while she made her way towards "their" spot upon the wall. The torches offered the flickering light in the evening air. She settled in to read as the frown appeared upon her face… fifty days... a month and a half without his smile… his touch?

She had to read the ending of it twice... then a third time as she placed the memory of his voice to the written words. The laughter rose from her as she stood up and spun about in a circle... the letter brought up close to her heart. Before she caught the skirts in hand and dashes off to write him in return.

My dearest Dmitrii,

It is terribly unfair for you to wait until now to say such words! As I would have adored hearing them from your lips. If only that you could hear my reply to be followed by a gentle kiss. As it is now… I fear I must keep myself with the memory of your voice and imagine those sweet words of love. Though I withhold my own... for I will not even dare write the words professing my love for you until I have the chance to speak them directly to the heart in which I treasure above my own.

I regret only that I have tormented you with your past, it was unfair of me to speak such things of a man that... I nearly said it... speak nothing of it again for all these things within your past have brought about the man in which I adore. Those days of loneliness and despair are far behind you now… for I will do everything in my power to assure that they never attempt to darken that perfect heart of yours ever again. If you will allow me to do so.

I am forever yours,
Willa

Weeks, nay months had passed… with often days between letters displaying how much they missed one another. Dmitrii was present when Adam received word of lil Edme’s death. Even the best of friends could not console the Duke. Dmitrii knew how hard it was to lose someone dear, but not the loss of a child so dear.

Then comes the opening of the second letter… it was not from Bess… The seal broken, the letter unfolded… reading… Adam dropped his cup… the remaining ale spilling to the floor. “What is it M’Lord? Is it the Avarians? Is there trouble at home? Is Willa alright?” All possible scenarios passed thru his mind… save one…

But He had not expected the death of the little girl who had made the warrior smile. He wanted to be with Willa even more now; to hold her close, to breath in her essence. Adam’s order to sail for home brought a faded joy knowing soon he would be home.

One last letter was written and handed to the falconer… “Wing it to my dear one sir… spare no moments past…”
The letter was:

My dearest Willa,
My heart longs to hear words that could stir its beat. My arms yearn to hold the softness of yer form… my nose desires to breath in the scent you hold… I care not about a dowry, nor class of us each… I remember yu were concerned before, for rumors had caught my ear of those who slandered yu with such… Alas! How much I thought I knew about love, and how little I truly know; Because I cannot keep myself from loving the one from whom I will gain nothing. You have all my heart, and my soul.

I wanted yu to know that Lord Adam has ordered us homeward. My heart is saddened by lil Edme’s death, but shall rejoice in yer presence. All is well, Lord Adam has made fair alliances, and yet Scotland has divided herself in two… Skye seems to be setting the pace for the future…

Future… that is something we shall speak of upon my return.

My Heart to yu,
Dmi[/i]

The messenger had some difficulty finding Willa at this point. There had been a few things go horribly wrong and well needless to say, Willa no longer worked at the castle itself. The young woman had returned home, the farm. It was a life she was well accustomed to… and truth be told, She had come to miss it very much. The small hands were wiped clean on her apron as she took the letter from the royal messenger then bid him to wait. The entire country mourned for the death of the pretty little babe, and Willa was no different. She had thought more then once to go back and check on Bess… though certainly her family would be taking care of her now.

She let out a soft cry of joy... while it was for a horrid reason... her beloved was coming home. The messenger seemed a bit surprised when she hugged him as well before turning back inside the house to write a return letter.

My heart… my love,

While I am consumed with the grief of the little girl's death... I can not help be find that beautiful spark of joy... knowing that you are coming home. I am glad for all the alliances, but it is you that I have come to miss wretchedly. Rumors are merely lies of those that are jealous for what they can not have. And know this Dmitrii… they can not have you. This may sound horribly selfish, but you are mine... and I will not share you. I have missed our walks... the small touches of your hand... the perfect way the light dances in your eyes when you are amused. Or how that soft shy smiles of yours peeks out,
I hope this brings some joy to your heart as it has brought mine from the dark despair.
My love is with you now and always,
Willa [/font]