Secrets in Drynoch; 2/22/1333

[Lady Liliana Campbell]

cont. from How We Shall Spend Winter

Time had passed swiftly since that day when husband and wife solidified their power to those who who sought to tear one from the other. Encounter with one Mairi and Anice Campbell had caused whispers all around the small town of Drynoch, and even beyond it. Some still stood in support of the two women's antics, believing that Liliana shouldn't be in such place at Kendrew's side, while others were firmly against them. The trickery of such women was frowned upon for it could be viewed as being disloyal toward their Laird.

"Wot ye be thinkin'?! Sidin' with a woman like tha'? Ah be 'shamed ta call ye wife!" Duncan MacTavish stood inside the simple cottage that he shared with his wife and younger children, the oldest two already married off. The other 3 were yet too young to be starting their own families. Fury was written all over his face while he stared down at the weeping form of his beloved Molly.

The MacTavish family was a loyal sect of clan Campbell, and Molly was niece to one Anice Campbell. The very woman who had plotted to get rid of the Laird's wife and place her own daughter, Mairi, in that very spot. That his own wife had sided with her Aunt on such a treacherous matter was...beyond disloyal in Duncan's eyes and he wasn't sure what to think. Though it'd not changed his love for Molly, seeing how strong it was, that didn't mean disappointment wasn't weighing down his heart.

"Ah be sorry, Duncan. Ah didnae mean ta..." Molly's sobs reached new heights until it seemed she might become sick and one trembling hand reached out to brush against that of her husband's only to have him withdrawal...and walk out of the cottage.

Out in Drynoch, up at Cuin Siar, Liliana sat talking with her sister-in-law Lara. The children were long in bed and Dona was bringing them tea while Kendrew was off handling the matter of the return of those women who'd spent the day behind bars. Anice and Mairi, however, were still serving out their punishment in the middle of townsquare in Turas Lan. "What makes those women desire my husband? It was painful to stand through their tormenting words. They dug deep, Lara. Kendrew...if he hadn't..." Slight guilt at her own weakness displayed itself until Lara's hand firmly gripped her own.

"Och ye will nae be thinkin' like tha' sister mine. Mah brother loves ye and ye be verah strong!" Squeezing Liliana's hand tight within her own, Lara gave a bright smile just as Dona brought in the tea and sat it down. It was she who would bring their mind to other matters.

Dona poured tea into three cups then lowered herself into a chair with a little groan. Old age had its little aches that occasionally popped up, but Dona handled it well. "Better question be wha' happened ta tha' woman's husband?" When both Liliana and Lara looked at her with slight confusion, she continued onward,"Tha' hussy's husband. Mairi tha' be it. Ah cannae believe tha' he jus' up and died."

All three women sipped the tea in silence now and wondered. What had happened to Alec Campbell? Was the man perhaps still yet alive? Or was his death caused by foul play? That such souls could go to those great lengths...just to acquire a position at the side of a Laird...Liliana couldn't fathom it. She'd seen much darkness in her years, but it never failed to amaze her.

"On the morrow I think we should go pay a visit to the cottages of Anice and Mairi Campbell. Perhaps we can figure something out between us. Though I will not have my children in those filthy homes. Can you keep an eye on them Dona?" Liliana's chocolate eyes met that of Dona's and noted her sparkle. As if she had to ask her Mother-in-Law to watch them.

All three fell silent again to think and speak, and eventually Lara and Dona went to bed while Liliana waited up for her husband to return home.

[Lara Campbell]

Bed should have called, but instead of slipping into her own chambers Lara chose to slip downstairs and outside into the cool night air. The children had been tucked into bed after Liliana had kissed each good night. Lara generally took that duty as with Liliana so far along in her pregnancy it was a bit risky to do stairs. Though this night, like many others, brought back memories of a distant time.

Usually Lara could put mind beyond it. Dwelling on the past made it hard to live in the present. Yet tonight seemed harder than most. She missed having a family of her own. Seeing Liliana with Kendrew made her yearn for what she'd lost. Not that Lara fooled herself...she could never love again like she had her Sigmund. It was like with his death the fire went out of her heart. It was still warm, aye, though never would it burn like before.

Sighing softly, breath misting in the air, Lara toyed with ebon braid and shook her head,"Such maudlin thoughts will nae do. Ah cannae let..."

Tears stung in brown gaze, forcing rapid blinking to send them away, as she took a deep breath. Glancing up at the Heavens, stars dotting an inky black sky, she whispered,"Och, how Ah miss ye husband...ye and the children."

It was hard not to have them around. She loved her nieces and nephew, and cherished each day with her family- yet she missed her own children. Little Kelda with her chubby arms, covered in flour or running barefoot in the yard. Leif and Loren's wrestling antics that caused scrapes and bruises little ones cried over while trying to be brave. Precious voices calling Mama at different times of the day...

"Ah love ye, Sigmund, as much as the first day Ah laid eyes on you...and Ah still love those children just as much. Our precious Angels...now with God like you...." One hand touched over her heart gently, lids drifting shut, as if the mind heard words spoken on chill breeze that others could not...

[Sir Kendrew Campbell]

"A Lady of Cuin Sar should nay be sad, but we all have our reasons to give pause." He didn't mean to intrude on a private moment between her, a family lost, and God. Often he spent on bended knee discussing with God the reason to this day why others were absent from a life that was good. Made to be guardian onlookers instead of living participants, it had been years since Roric's death, and his wife Mary's, had left a hole in him. Of the two Roric would be the death that affected him most. For Lara? She never spoke of what it was like. He never asked her. Between the two was a respectful silence on the matter, but she had a level of cruel intimacy with death he never wanted to touch. If any of the children were taken from him, and he not the one to go before? He would be a ghost in the halls that forever echoed with their voices until he was the wraith that went mad. Lara was too good, too gentle for that. Even for a woman who could smith as good as any man, she never lost what made her unique in the world of her peers. "Tis late, Lara, why aren't ye in bed?"

Why wasn't he in his?

The dark was the time where he once sat by dying embers in the company of men or in castles. The dark was the time when the day's woes calmed for a man to have introspection of his life. Was it the same for a woman? He was still in a simple tunic of gray, his trews, the clothes he worked in. Evident he hadn't changed for retirement, one other fact was that the meeting of men in Drynoch had gone on so long that he had also not eaten his supper. The path to where Lara stood came from him taking the other end of the porch as his selection to the door. Instead he now leaned against one of the supporting pillars that held aloft their dreams. Life had changed for the better, but not all things come be made better. What could he give his sister? Liliana for the longest did not mention her woes, and Lara was thrice as guilty of it. She had a lifetime where Liliana had only a handful of years to the offense. He reached out, opening a brother's arm for a sister to take shelter in. What could he give her, what could he do, to make this life one that would be recalled with fondness?

He could not give her back what she would have wanted, or suspected that she did. If he could give her back her children, her man? He would ask God for his brother, so that he could sit in his advancing years with him. Retirement was nigh for a man of forty-five years. Still strong he was, but he only oversaw the training of men. If war called them, he would not ride where they would ride. If it found him, then would he stay and fight. Only if his leiges asked him would he move forward, and their goodness saw that favor not elected since the MacKinnon girl was taken to be an heir upon her land.

[Lara Campbell]

After children went to sleep it allowed time for adults to find privacy and peace, the comfort of a lover's arms, or the conversation of close friends. That was what they sought once the wee ones fell asleep. Lara sought the first this night though would not have shunned the second or third. Though in truth, there had been no man before or since Sigmund. A lover's arms was out of the question. Privacy and peace? Sought yet never found. When Kendrew approached the house to draw her from painful memories, Lara welcomed it. A face gently drawn with sorrow that turned in his direction and only lit by waning light as night had long since come, and the moon was already in sky.

"The Lady of Cuin Siar waits within its walls for her husband. I am naught except sister of its Laird." Lara's lips curved in an attempt at smile to aid the teasing words, but it died barely before flaring to life. "Ah find..." Well-spoken words changed with accent, natural as the wind that blew, as a pause was taken for air to be sucked into lungs. An attempt at quelling the tears making a lump in throat,"tha' it nay be as easy ta sleep as once before."

Not when heart yearned to have what could not be returned. Some would say that Lara's faith was shaken, or that it was wrong of her to yearn so for the return of her loved ones when they were sheltered by the Lord, yet none of that was true. She knew they were safe in His embrace, ever protected from the every day pains found on Earth, yet somewhere inside she wished to be by them instead of alone without them. It was sinful! Such thoughts...

Lara shook her head, rubbing a hand across tear-clouded brown gaze,"Ah cannae talk about..." Silence was her companion. Some would say to talk of sorrow would ease it. Lara had not done that even once since the loss of her husband and children. Explanations when sent to her Mother were the simplest given: husband lost in a scuffle and children to illness. What more could be said? Details that would only pain other hearts as they pained her own, and so Lara had chosen not to speak of them. Then time had passed- and other events took her mind away from it, and after a time some semblance of happiness and peace was found her in Drynoch.

Yet now a weeping heart longed to feel something akin to love again, to be called Mama a thousand times a day, and to find that happiness of years gone by. Could she? When Kendrew's arms opened so invitingly it seemed to break the dam, tears streamed unheeded down cheeks on a face usually bearing strength, and she fell into them with a sob.

"Lord above Kendrew, Ah miss mah family...how Ah miss them..." Arms covered by long sleeves of a simple tan dress wrapped securely around him. Face buried against strong brotherly chest while Lara longed for him to make this ache go away as simply as those sustained in childhood.

[Sir Kendrew Campbell]

"The sister of its Laird, and one of its Ladies. You, came with me 'ere. Ye n' mother. Ye will stand as no less than what you are by right and by virtue. Da left us a legacy, Lara. All I am doing is writing it thus in a new chapter, but he was right to leave it as he did. Now your strength and beauty may help make it better." He smiled, soft in the light. Despite his age he was boyish in how his hair dangled infront of his eyes with a casual indifference to being elsewhere. He tried, like she tried, to turn a hard silence with humor's bent but failed when he heard how her voice struggled to be still. The smile faded, coming to a thin line as he stepped up to her further. With more words, the woman turned into his arms. His own folded over her. Neither the wind, nor man, nor even heaven would interefere with his protection of her right now. "Giving prayers and tears to God takes long the balm work, it runs out at times...Lara...there is no harm to cry when the wound is run open again."

Strong, steadfast, beautiful Lara. The woman was cut from the same substance that formed their mother, but she was still young, still subject to mourn more than old age who was accustomed to it by now. He kissed her forehead, drawing her in tight against him until she felt her misery spent. In the shell of her pretty ear, he whispered, "Cry for their memory, lass, but do not hide in our life. Cry and be absolved, but remember to live. Look how long it took your brother to live. You are younger still, beautiful and strong. You do with your hands better than any man in a forge Lara, and you do the memory of your husband proud. M'children are given your care, and in that you do your children proud. You will never forget them, but they would not want you to never seek what you wish. Just remember tha'." Was he selfish to think she might always stay with him until her beauty became memory? He would speak with his wife over the possibility of bringing up to Lara a courtship, and marriage. Several men came to him wishing the honor, but he would never dare beset on her. At her age, she deserved choice, and the law demanded no less of him even if he knew she would do as she were told for the glory of their old name in new halls.


"No one should lose what ye lost, Lara. In thinkin' on why, e'en I am too small to understand the will of God in that. I will soothe your pain a little, pitiful as it might be. I will soothe what I can."