Post by Ursula Darling on Apr 5, 2009 14:46:41 GMT -6
Alendral: "The secret behind a knife, Ursula, is its revealed, somebody dies." Such was the first of several 'lessons' the Illusionist imparted in his pupil personally. The two were situated in the grand ballroom where Alen had spoke almost a few weeks before, though the majority of tables and niceities were clear. The weapon he was referring to was, figuratively and literally made for her, slender and easily concealed in the various garb the Courtesan demanded to wear, slender and thin, light and well balanced- were Alendral coined to poetic sentiment, he'd consider the almost delicate nature of the blade belying it's sharp edge to be rather fitting for his pupil. "Sufficed to say, it goes without saying that, should it be necessary, such a dagger wouldn't serve you will against say--a fully armored guard or a General. Far from it, but I don't have to tell you not to go bringing a knife to a sword fight. Still, in our profession it pays to be prepared. " The so-called Illusionist placed the dagger gently in her hand and, guiding with a nudge of bootsole or nudge here, the proper way to hold it, and the proper way to stand. "First... just get familiar with its weight. That's all. It's not like a sword, or axe or club or anything more... crude--it only takes a minimum of pressure to pierce flesh... so you must be able to act swiftly. Accurately. In a sense, the blade itself must first be second nature to have any success with it. Understand?" the first thing Alen had decided to work on, in Ursula's case, was the uglier side of her job--lying, wearing of masks, the construct of stories, catching the eye and playing to the expectations of her target, that was all second nature for the woman, the actress. Agility and grace could be honed in a dancer, but she needed less, but defending herself--protecting herself, no, that was a weakness, and in a time it was a glaring one. "The other reason we must let the knife be an extension is because Knife fights differ from sword play... our hands, our legs, our body, must be used, to position for the killing blow..."
Ursula: "Oh so its not only used for slicing and dicing vegetables."She teased then cleared her throat with a shake of her head"Sorry"She mumbled before pressing her lips together. She tilted her head just slightly as he spoke, watching the way he moved, the way he spoke as he mentioned the uses of the dagger, and when it didn't fit in. Wasn't it obvious a dagger couldn't be used in a sword fight? Really she gauged from this lesson one thing, she was weak when it came to fighting and honestly, she agreed. Though she was quite shocked at the way the blade seemed fit for her, made for her? Surprising still. She seemed to tense as the blade was put into her hands, surprising considering she took up a blade so easily to pierce the chest of Jonathan. His fingers moved against her own to show her the proper way to hold it and she was only mildly aware he was shifting her by nudge of body and boot into the right stance for it. Get familiar with its weight? Ha! The thing hardly seemed to weigh anything! "Alen, I've never held a sword, club or axe...so I think this will infinitely be easier then you think it will. but yes I understand."Her head turned just so to catch sight of him beside her. A delicate brow inched upward. "Our bodies must be positioned for the blow? What about using the body as an attack?"
Alendral: "True enough." he didn't admonish her for speaking of turn, quite the contary, he seemed to enjoy it. "I had merely meant that when the weapon is withdrawn, that's it. You've made it life or death. So never draw it unless you mean to kill, or at least are willing to do it. It escalates any problem you might have, so use it carefully." the Illusionist smiled, even grinned patiently again. "What, no sword? Not even for an act? Alright then... let me demonstrate. Really, as a parrying weapon knives are somewhat limited, at least until you become an expert. You'd have to use the hilt, but frankly, you should never be in a straight up blade fight anyway. What I mean is that you have a free hand, free legs, a free body. For example." he stepped lightly around her while he attempted to explain, withdrawing a blade hidden from on his belt as he seemed to observe her. "More often then not, you're going to be using this weapon while entangled. The most common way to entangle.." he stopped behind her and stepped forward, gingerly wrapping an arm around her neck, the other weapon held high. "From here. This is one of the best positions for it. Your ability to strike back is limited, you can't see me, I have... almost, complete control of your body." to say nothing of his proximity, practically cheek to cheek to her, there was no wiping the grin off his face. "So, more than just 'Where can I stick the knife in?' you should be thinking. 'How can I get them in a position like this?' And... of course, if they get you, how do you escape? You have any ideas how to escape, Ursula?" his brows lifted lightly again, silently encouraging an answer.
Ursula: "Fake swords, fake scenes...I can't really use play scenes as a way of attack, well I can but my enemy isn't going to do what my accomplice in a play would do." What that a smug look on her face, no simply relaying information. Most people thought sword fights in plays just played by ear, that wasn't true. Actors were good at what they did in order to make it look flawless, but unrehearsed. She shut up as he began to explain once more. Her chin tilted up as his arm wrapped around it. A delicate brow etched upward. Of course Ursula never expected Alen to hurt her but cheek to cheek, she felt his cheek move and knew he was grinning. "Oh your enjoying this far to much me thinks." She purred, using her words to shift and position her body just so, against she cleared her throat but this time her hand wiggled with blade in hand, right near his groin but of course she wasn't pressing in, just making him aware of where she had it until she finally spoke. "Well this one way comes to mind..but of course that's not all.." Twirling the blade away from his groin, she reached for the hand at her neck. "If I didn't want to maime my attacker, merely get away, I could.." As she spoke her hand fastened around his wrist, with a yank, she pulled it away from her neck while one foot went back to entangle his while the other stepped forward and she twirled, pulling her foot forward to knock him off balance but stopped as her hand locked tight with his to keep him upright rather then fall. Least he would get the point right? "Both good ideas?" Her head tilted just so as she grinned. cokey, somewhat.
Alendral: "What? maybe a little." he replied in jest. The blade at the groin actually didn't impress him much at first--clever, but all he had to do was shift a little bit and that opportunity would be lost. "Not bad, I suppose, but--..." and so came the next demonstration, which he had to admit was rather clever. Of course, it wouldn't have worked on him--he would have shifted the minute he felt her touch his arm, but Ursula, god forbid, would not be going up against someone like him for a long time. Pulled off balance, stumbling a single step before restrained, the Illusionist smirked playfully. "Not bad at all. " before, with blurring speed he promptly reversed it--shifting his foot in a mirror of her own and exerting his weight to take her down a split second later, all the dexterity of an escape artist and a spy sending her reeling before she could react--he even would have knocked the wind out of her if he didn't bring his arm around her in such a way to take the brunt of it, now face to face with her a plainly victorious expression. "But... not mastered yet. Unfortunately, you're dead now." he replied. "And... now that I have you in a perhaps more comfortable position." the parody of lovers, more like, one leg half-wrapped around hers. "Let's talk more on to the knife, shall we? Now, first of course is the classic throat slit, but let me warn you that one is harder than you think. " he brought the blade up to her neck and very gently rested the tip on it--drawing no blood, but testing her trust in him in subtly. "There's a lot of muscle and sinew to cut through, more than you'd think, so don't go light. Furthermore the throat is very naturally an area a person wants to protect, and it's small size makes it easier. Bear it in mind. Surprising areas include..." he shifted slightly and held the dagger to a point near her shoulder. "Here..." pulling away from her now, he backed up till he was sitting slightly and rose her left arm." Here... here, right through here. It's a small point, but strike here--you feel that?" he touched at a point beneath her arm with two fingers, feeling between a pair of ribs. "Right.. there. Right through the heart. " and so he'd continue about his demonstrations there, illustrating a few more points--below the ribcage, major arteries, patiently answering any questions she might have. "Like I said. Your first strike, should ideally, be your last. The longer you fight with a knife, the more likely it is you're to be seriously hurt or killed in the proceedings. We're masters of subtlety, and Knife fights are brutal, physical affairs. Always be of the mind to end them swiftly, with as little noise and fuss as possible."
Ursula: "Glad to see my charms aren't completely lost on you."She teased in return when he approved of both methods. Of course there would be flaws, she wasn't a master at this like he was. It would take time and hard work. His lightening speed reaction and display did leave her reeling, enough that she didn't understand what was going on till she was pressed against him with her arms around his neck to keep her from falling flat to the floor and wind knocked out. The smug look on his face was met with a display of her tongue in his direction before she was letting out a laugh. "Duly noted..but comfortable position, we'll see about that." She teased with a roll of chocolate eyes before she was giving him her full attention once more. She was perhaps more relaxed then she should of been with a blade at her throat but her trust in him went far deeper then even he would ever realize. "Got it.."She spoke as he explained cutting a throat but a delicate brow rose. "How is the shoulder a good target?" Lips slammed shut as she watched him move back. He pressed on the point between her ribs, were one could get to the heart and she jumped with a small hum of a laugh, ticklish, most definitely. "Ok got that one" Hands lifted up that she didn't need to be shown that one again. She listened, watching, memorizing the places he pointed out with the help of her body. God forbid though she ever had to use them. Still she knew in one part of her, she would, someday. "All right, I understand." She fingered the knife still in her hand, chocolate hues shifted down to the blade, away from him as she worked the information over in her head. "Alen.."she finally spoke after several minutes of silence. "Your not worried about turning me into a cold blooded killer?" chocolate hues rose from where her thumb was running over the cool blade to meet his gaze once more.
Alendral: "Stab a man there and he'll bleed out in moments. Not a pleasant or clean way to go, but an efficient one in the long run." he replied patiently enough to her query--doubtless she had a similar one near her thigh, as well. As for her question at the end... well, she might as well have stabbed him with the blade herself. It made him freeze, briefly, one of the painfully few moments she saw the mask crack, before sense and the playful, borderline amorous expression asserted itself again and he put a small amount of space between them and took a breath again. "No. not as such, Ursula. No. not to sound insulting, but I don't think you have that in you." and he was honest when he said it, though Vance would argue that wasn't the problem entirely. Still, the idea of raising one sent him chills, precisely because he had seen a man who had done it before. "No... but to correct you, murder is always cold-blooded, and you should get comfortable with that fact before it surprises you entirely. Trust me... you're going to remember the first time you have to, and it's going to be unpleasant. " he moved to sit up and sheathe his own blade in a smooth gesture. "That's yours, by the way. I had it made for you. Take it with you whenever you do work for me. "
Ursula: Ah so the shoulder thing she got now. But if he ever tried to show her one where her thigh was concerned, he would find out how quickly he could end up on the floor! Her head tilted just so as she saw the look cross his face, like a ripple upon the glassy surface of a lake. Never did Alen's face weaver, even when he smiled but this seemed something different. A glimpse of it and his face seemed to harden again while she was replaying that look in her mind. With him, her mask slipped all the time but his... this was something to remember, not to use against him, she would never do that but it was something to remind her that while he was an idle in her mind, he was still human. The blade was tapped against the palm of her hand as she listened. A delicate brow arched once more. "The fact doesn't bother me Alen, I stabbed Jonathan..provided that you all ready struck the killing blows...I don't...dwell on what happened with Jonathan, but I often remember what it felt like. to plunge the blade into him. I contend with the fact that, the people I will have to kill, will be for the greater good..there will be purpose behind it. I think that is why I don't mind the thought of it so much. Although I do agree, the experience will be quite different." She tapped the blade against her palm, turning her gaze down to it when he said it was hers, he had it made for her. This time she masked the surprise she felt as her hand closed, very carefully around it. "Thank you.."With no where to, well stick it right now, she held onto it as she shifted to lean against a pillar in the room. "Alen..."She spoke again after a few more seconds of silence. "I know why your doing this, potential and all, but.."She stopped, her face twisting to find the right words. "If it were different, if you had..say affections...for me, where you didn't...want to be without me.."Ok this was beginning to sound like she was admitting she had feelings for him, which wasn't true, at least not in that sense. She had affections for him, she just wasn't sure really what they were. "Well that's to say, if you had duties, and I knew it, and tried to push you away..well" Hmm what the hell was her question. "Well if you wouldn't allow me to push you away, what would you do in my situation?"
Alendral: One would be surprised that he knew what she was talking about--both figuratively (though to be honest, it was a bit of a stretch with so many hypotheticals she was talking in circle. "This is about Marke, isn't it?" he responded, side-glancing her for a moment. "I haven't had you watched, mind you, but Vance insists on keeping an eye on you. " he didn't bother skating around the point. If nothing else he didn't want that between them. Being honest between the pair was terribly important. "First off, to be fair, if I genuinely loved you I would never ask you to take this life, and risk bringing you into it, but this isn't about my situation, now is it? So the question I have for you Ursula is... how do you really feel? Is it his duty you fear for, or is it yours? " he let his eyes meet her, try to peer under the mask, if only briefly. "... If it's his duty you're so fearful of, I'd say to hell with it. What, the duty of lounging around, being rich? the man has nothing he fights or feels for. any meaning to that man's life is better than what he has. But you... well, your duties... well, now that is a more difficult question..."
Ursula: Her face twisted, both with him asking if it was about Marke, he would know that look meant he was right but it also twisted with the mention of Vance's name, if she wasn't careful she was going to cut herself the way her hand tightened on the hilt of the dagger and the blade itself. Releasing the blade into his lap, chocolate eyes turned in his direction. "So you don't genuinely love me since you did bring me into this life, hmm?"There was only a half tease to that. Had to lighten the mood somehow and throw him off from looking beyond the mask she always had up but Alen had a way of pulling her mask off without even touching her. That frightened her, that he could look at her and see through her masks, straight into her soul. It also frightened her to answer that question of his. What did she really feel? She wasn't even willing to admit that to herself, how could she admit it to him? Besides that, she had never felt what she felt now, ever, in her lifetime. How did you put a name on something you never felt before? "So you know about his rough treatment then? If Vance has been following me?" Lord help her if she ever met Vance face to face again, she would introduce him to her fist if he ever brought it up. The fact the man had been following her made her shudder. "Let me say it this way, I fear..."She paused and sighed, shaking her head as she tried to find the right words to describe it. "I fear his involvement in my duties.."she had to snort when Alen described Marke's life. The man did have fight in him, for her, that was partly the problem. "He is engaged Alen, and I have...tried..to explain that nothing can come of the two of us. He is a nobleman with certain obligations, to himself and his clan, to marry nobility is one of them, I've explained that I am a whore, with no background, no history to show that I would be a suitable match, to say there would be uprisings in his clan if he wanted to marry a whore, well that's minimal...not to mention the hidden part of my life. I don't want to get married Alen, I'm not cut out for that..I'm not cut out for that sort of loyalty. Mind you, my loyalty to you, I hope you'll never question that."She was babbling now and knew it, slender lips slammed shut, creating a thin line as she pursed them together. After a minute she sighed and continued. "Your my best friend Alen...tell me what to do.."
Alendral: "Ursula, when I first met you, I decided I had to do one of two things; either I had to sleep with you or I had to make you happy in some way. It took me a while but I decided on the latter." he grinned playfully, trying to bring some levity into the situation. He was well aware of how tense this Vance/Ursula thing was getting, and soon he'd have to intervene, but strangely, Claramae had asked him to abstain. to let it 'play out' in her words. It was a bit frustrating, but he heeded her advice. "First, let's get one thing straight, Ursula, the moment you chose to take under my wing you became far more than you credit yourself for. Make no mistake of it, you're a servant of this Kingdom and one that should be venerated in their own right, even if she may never tell a soul. I'll not have you make so little of your self worth ever again, but what you are willing to sacrifice is admirable for anyone." if it was one thing he wouldn't have, it was her thinking little of herself--the confidence she lacked, despite all, was something he'd do away with. He paused, quietly, and let his eyes shift a moment. "...Ursula... you say a word and I'd settle this for you, but you wouldn't like how it ended. You want my advice as a friend... than the answer is.. if you value him, forget the rest. Even if that means giving this up, so be it. I'll support your decision, even if it may mean our relationship is at an end." Bitter and cruel, but the truth. If she married, his reasons for 'visits' would end, and Alendral would become the illusionist--Alendral the spy would disappear completely. " For what he loses, I'd say it's his choice. He turns his back on his own clan and family for it... than it's either the right reasons or the wrong ones, and either way it speaks volumes of him. but neither of that is important. You know what the truth is, Ursula? It's you. 'you' don't want to get married. You don't feel ready to devote yourself to someone so utterly, so entirely. And you shouldn't. I would never question your loyalty to me, but I only ask that you serve in the interests of those you love and care for in your own right.. I don't ask what he asks of you. I've never known that kind of loyalty myself, not ever. I don't think I could be anymore ready for it than you could be. So Ursula.. if you really want a directive from me... than don't. "
Ursula: A hum of a laugh passed her lips at his admission of when he first met her. Glad he went with the latter for the first probably and most likely would not of lead them here. She liked this outcome better. Her head tilted, watching the blade in her hands as he spoke. He knew very well she didn't hold a lot of stock in herself and no matter how much he pushed she was more then she thought herself, it was going to take time to believe it. Her head lifted to meet his face as he spoke on, not an endless droll she couldn't keep her mind to. No Alen's voice seemed to flow like water in a tunnel, fluid and capturing, he had her full attention. "Alen, I don't want him dead, so no I don't want you to settle this for me.." She leaned forward for a moment before letting out a sigh as her back pressed against the pillar once more, he continued and she listened though her gaze moved about the room, better absorbing his words that way. "I don't want to give this up.."She cut him off as he spoke it and her eyes caught his again. "This gives me so much more purpose. Purpose I never even dreamed possible. Alen, I can't...explain"Again her head shook as she tried to find the right words. "Its not that I am not ready now to get married, I don't...I can't ever see myself married, devoted entirely to one human being, a wife..a mother.."she shuddered. "Children just...aren't in the cards for me. Marriage isn't in the cards for me. I never could see myself married with children, I still can not. Not ever, I don't think. But this..life, I was going to tell Marke about it, or ask you about it but that would endanger you and I could never endanger you." She let out another sigh as she smacked her head against the pillar, though not hard enough to hurt herself. For a moment she let the turmoil of what she had been feeling for the last few days show on her face, it was agony but the mask slid back into place a second later. "I care about him, but faced with a choice of..well you or him...I choose you. I choose this." Chocolate hues fell to him once more. "He will always be lost to that one shadow of my life, he wouldn't have all of me and I can't..do that to him. It's not just his decision at this point, he acts on...an emotion for me, but he doesn't seem to realize it doesn't only effect him, he has sisters he wants them to marry for..well love, but well, and if he had any incline to be with me, well those positions go out the door. I can't allow him to do that to his sisters."while she related what she thought, she suddenly realized she all ready had the answer, all ready knew what she was going to do. She all ready made a choice. Slowly she inhaled them let it out in a deep sigh. "so, how do I hurt him, to save him?" Honestly, everything she tried hadn't worked, so now she needed help.
Alendral: He was, in fact, touched by how much she wanted this, touched and humbled in ways she might never understand--and terrified in a way he would never let her understand, god willing, he would not see her participating in the vicious cycle he was ensared in. Carefully standing and moving to her side, a hand placed by her elbow, an oddly affectionate gesture from the Illusionist, more so for not carrying any real double meaning. "You're right. it would put us all in danger. Telling him. But to be honest, Ursula... I have no doubts that you can imagine many ways to hurt him. Your heart, on the other hand, may not be able to bear much." he sighed lightly again and subtly leaned against her, not for needing comfort as much as offering it. "Were I to speak devoid of heart, I would tell you to arrange to see you lying with another, or to tell him you tire of him and his antics and so am tired of perpetuating the game. Break his heart so utterly that he goes cursing your name and never once hoping for more. But... despite what you claim, Ursula, I think you care for him too deeply to destroy the man in such a way. So I know that such scenarios will be useless. But he will not take no for an answer, and so you must eliminate all possibility of such a thing. " he seemed to muse over the ideas, grimly contemplating and discounting them each in turn. How ironic, he found, that he was trying to find a way to settle both this and leave her heart at peace--so many years ago, he would have dismissed it utterly.
Ursula: Her face turned up in his direction at the fell of his hand at her elbow but when he leaned into her, she gratefully sank against him. Damn him for knowing she needed comfort and damn her for needing it so much right now. Her mind screamed at her to block herself up, to stop letting people in but her heart stubbornly reminded her that she had said it truthfully, he was, her best friend and the comfort he offered was needed in more ways then one. To both help her struggling soul and to help her brave to what she knew she needed to do. "Now you know, best friend goes so far, you keep seeing into my very soul like that and Ill start to worry." It was a half hearted tease, something she lightly did, always in his presence but not something she put herself completely into like she normally did. "Honestly Alen, I think my heart needs to feel this..needs to break...in order to bear my decisions, in order to get on with life and allow him to get along with his. So really, any scenario is better then nothing..seeing me in the bed of another, wouldn't stop him, anger him yes, but he wouldn't give up. I know that much about Marke, and he knows now I have been trying to push him away, so outright saying I am sick of him won't work either...well..maybe..." She sighed as her arm curled around Alen's arm as her head laid upon his shoulder. "Come on Alen, I thought you were creative"Again, half heartedly teasing him. "Course, could always say I am engaged or secretly married Vance" Now that was a tease for she shuddered and no doubt Alen knew she had NO like for pretending to be the mans wife at the clan meeting a week or so ago.
Alendral: He smiled, however softly and worked an arm wholly around her shoulder. "Tell you what. We'll work this out and you ask any one question of me and get one secret." the offer was in jest, though it would be offered were she really to want it. Perhaps in some strange way, Alen felt a need to speak on some of it himself. "Let's.. just put that one aside for the moment. " he chuckled. "I think if I instructed Vance to act in such a way he'd murder me on the spot. That man... really doesn't like you!" he shook his head and seemed to muse it again. He than sighed, and raised his head a moment. "... Very well. The other simpler answers are to remove you from the equation by forces believed to be out of his control. You could disappear--I could have a place for you here, peremently, under this house. It would mean giving up your place as a Courtesan, and some of the flexability that goes with it. Unfortunate, but should it come to that... arrested, perhaps, for crimes, locked up and lost to him. " he struggled to find a way to deter the stubborn without killing him. "...Lord. Marry the Book-keeeper? I understand he's been visiting you lately. Honestly, Ursula, tell me you aren't..." so he wasn't keeping so close a watch to her private business as all that, at least. "Or... perhaps we take what already exists and we shift it. He doesn't need to know of us as spies... but he does think us as criminals, does he not?" he sighed lightly again. "You're tied to an underground. You're an asset. You pledge yourself to anything else, they destroy you. Word gets out, it destroys him. It's a half-truth, in that case. But we find something to leverage him with, he'll have no other choice..."
Ursula: She hummed in amusement, but also to herself. The only reason she disliked Vance was because he disliked her and made no point to hide it and she'd done nothing to him! Yet the offer of one secret of Alen! She mused that one over in her head. "I think I might take you up on that offer, only give me a minute to think of a question. Less..you wanna tell me one secret of yours without a question?" Chocolate eyes turned up hopefully in his direction with a grin as his hand came around her shoulders. She was entirely to comfortable like this, yet oddly enough it didn't frighten her as much as realizing she had feelings for Marke did. "No, I don't want to leave the Lily, Shaden needs me..as much as a courtesan to help run things and besides, we need that cover, I have nothing else without it.. and you know it. Locked up, not bad but with Marke's money he would hire me a lawyer to get me out of it.."Her nose wrinkled, her head left his chest as she gave him a look of disgust. "NO I haven't been sleeping with the bookkeeper! Honestly Alen, eww!" It wasn't that the man...boy...wasn't attractive in some way but it would be pushing all her acting skills to even pull THAT one off even if it ever came to that. "An the boy would probably faint if he had to brooch playing that ruse. Besides, Marke would tear off his head and the boy doesn't stand a chance in a fight." Her head returned to his shoulder, laying half towards his chest as she 'snuggled' up to him. "Perhaps the only way to play it is to play like I really don't want him, we've never played games with each other, always honesty, perhaps its time for a lie. To tell him I don't want him after all...but, well he all ready thinks your more to me then what you really are...hmm, if your willing, I could play to it like I don't care for him, that I care for you and I am giving him up, for you.."He couldn't see it but her eyes were shifting left to right as a hand lifted to press against her bottom lip, a common trait she had when thinking. "Vance pretty much is out of the question anyway's, the man can't act worth a damn..but you can, then again, I can't really ask that of you. You've your own life outside of the shadows, something I know nothing of, I wouldn't want you to hurt someone your close to, if there is anyone like that."
Alendral: "Well then I'd just be telling you a secret I'd be willing to part with! not much of a fair trade." he riposted playfully. The last point was salient enough, it blended with his head well enough and he shrugged lightly again, looking to her appraisingly as he shook his head. "The people I'm close to are well aware of the roles I have to play, and the things I have to do to achieve them. You don't ask too much of it." he shrugged lightly again. "If this is the action you believe will shake him, I am willing to play at it. After all, I can certainly hold my own in a fight, I'm capable of playing a part... not that I could imagine it very hard madly desiring a woman like you." with the playful quirk of a brow and grin, shrugging his shoulders a little bit again. "So be it. You can't be engaged to him. Truth is, you're terribly in love with me. Been that way for a while, turns out. Done and done." he smiled faintly again and rubbed her arm. It was strange that he felt some sadness in the ploy--playing a part so he could deprive her of the real thing. "How do you like rings by the way? Nice and fancy or somethin' simple, elegant?" more banter. It would tear her up enough on her own, no need to compile it.
Ursula: "Fine then, tell me a secret your not willing to part with. Here I'll even help you. Alen, what's one secret your not willing to part with?" There, she phrased it into a question and grinned up at him with a small hum of a laugh. "He never asked me to marry him, I just have to keep him from doing so and breaking his engagement with Lorna McCulla." Her arm inched about his waist as she held onto him, more holding herself in the position she was across his chest as well. A smile tugged against her lips at his ploy, yes it would work. It would hurt him, Marke, and it would...yes envitably hurt her to. Sighing, she shifted against him and turned to lay upon the ground, turned opposite of him so she could see him, her arms behind her head. "Simple and elegant...but why would a ring need to be involved? Do you think it needs to seem as if we are engaged or do you think it will work just making it seem as if we are together?"Ha she was asking him this when she knew Marke better then he did? Even she did not understand why she asked that!
Alendral: "It'd certainly drive the point home. If the man has any respect for you at all, letting you find love would over-ride his own desires. " he didn't quite follow to lay beside her--let her dictate what she needed, more or less. He knew the real reason she'd ask. "If you believe less would be sufficient to drive him away Ursula, than it does not require it. I merely work with certainties. No sense rending her heart in the process. With the decision made and the exact nature of it only to be carried out later, he instead decided to grant her a respite, closing his eyes lightly again as he sighed and dwelled on it, some secret he could give that he'd never want her to know. Mulling it over again, he reached over and lightly touched at the locks of hair obscuring her face, pausing meaningfully. "...How about why I felt so strongly that you were to be trained as a Spy, then, Hmm? And why when I first laid eyes upon you I found myself struck beyond words...." he left the point to hang, carefully. He had given her plenty reasons, though, and so he felt the need to add, his voice dipping softly. "...And what I'm so afraid of when I look into your eyes..."
Ursula: "Actually, that is quite true. I hadn't thought of that." Chocolate eyes rolled to find his from staring up at the ceiling. Mulling what she was to do over in her head. It seemed so strange, not because she never thought of doing it, but because it reminded her of the chess game she and Nathan had played and how she knocked down her King instead of the Queen. How she had known then how close the game resembled her life, or how really it had predicted an omen. It was probably just ironic, just coincidence then anything else but to her, it seemed to make sense. An ill omen for later, which was not coming true. He was so careful of her heart, knowing perhaps how it ached even behind the mask of calm she placed so carefully ahead of any pain. A smile cracked on the side of her lips as she watched him, lids falling closed briefly as he moved the strand away from her face before her eyes found his again. "That's more then one question for one secret promised. But yes, those seem like good questions, ones I'd like to know the answer to."
Alendral: The lifting of old wounds wasn't easy, not when they were so recently, painfully dug up. The truth was, he'd scarcely made the connection himself, at least not at first. He wasn't even sure it would make sense to her, but he would try. He squared his shoulders, if only slightly. "I was a Noviate. Just like you, under tutelage of Claramae and her Master... in any event, as part of my training I was made to meet a woman, a Courtesan, much like yourself, in fact." the hint of nostalgia creeped over his expression--ages ago. The memory of her garbed for her craft, devilishly alluring and yet capable of acting as if she was unaware of it, mingled with the emotions of the young uncertain he was. Smiling mirthfully. "Sufficed to say we enjoyed a particularly close relationship and she rather brought me out of my boyhood, but that's not strictly relevant to the story. No. what she was though... confident. Capable of dissembly. Certain in her movements, her actions.. and gods, so terribly clever. Claramae, god... she couldn't stand her and yet she had quite a bit of respect for her." he shook his head playfully again. "Anyway... over time I came to admire her. She saw a potential in me, she once told me. The chance for something... well, I never got to find out." the smile, bit by bit, sunk back into his mask, he lowered his gaze to her and let it fall forward. "She died. Killed. By Gottschalk. Alexander Gottschalk, my old master--the same one who gave me my name. My real one. Not just killed, either. Defiled, tortured, left to suffer hour upon hour before she expired. It was written into every cut, every bruise... every..." he banished it away, not intending for it to take such a dark turn. "The lady took me under her wing and in many ways is as responsible into shaping me into the man I am today. And... I think she would have liked you. I suppose in some way, I thought it might be able compensation. I saw... a fragment of her in you, and I just... did something selfish, in the long run..." the very story left him almost uncharestically shaken. For as hard as it was for Ursula to let a bit of herself show, it was agonizing for Alendral. he knew the story created a dozen questions for whatever it answered. He felt almost stupid for saying it--he liked the idea that Ursula thought he was something noble, and felt painfully less noble for admitting it to her.
Ursula: She captured his hand when it moved away from her face. Her fingers weaving with his own and only with him, would this action mean exactly what it was, a need to comfort him as much as he comforted her with no other underlining reason. Her smile fell as she listened to his story, never once did her eyes break away from his face, pulling in each word as so the look upon his face as he spoke them. She gauged what it meant by real name, and if the man gave it to him, well she could guess what it was, but she wouldn't speak it. He wasn't asking her to. She saw the way it pulled at him, to let this out, as much as he shoved it behind a mask. That was one thing they had in common, he saw past her masks, and she saw past some of his. Her thumb stroked lazily over his knuckles. She had questions but something told her, now was not the right time for them. "Thank you..." She spoke in a low whispering purr. For the story, for giving her some small piece of him for that was in essence what he was doing, what she felt she did every time she opened up and told him something of her. Also to compare her with someone he obviously admired and cared about. It spoke volumes. Her fingers tightened with his as she tugged, dragged him down to lay beside her. "I'm glad you were selfish.."
Alendral: "Ursula." he said her name once, meaning painful behind it, whilst she dragged him down. Such a strange thing for the pair to do, the middle of the floor, though he did little to dissuade it. "...Now that you've heard it, I need to promise you one more thing. And it will sound like something that doesn't need to be said, and it will sound foolish and sentimental... but I need to say it. I won't let him hurt you, Ursula. I promise. Not like he hurt her." and he would explain nothing behind why that was something he needed to say, only that he did. The words passed through him and left him feeling both strangely touched and deeply troubled. I'm glad you were selfish... he wondered if that sentiment would remain in the coming months, or if she would end cursing it in the end, before turning and smiling genuinely at her. "Now, one last sentimental and foolish promise. You'll be happy one day. It may take a long time, god knows I once never imagined it, but you'll find it. in the meantime, I merely hope that what I give you will allow you to stay the course. "
Ursula: "Oh so its not only used for slicing and dicing vegetables."She teased then cleared her throat with a shake of her head"Sorry"She mumbled before pressing her lips together. She tilted her head just slightly as he spoke, watching the way he moved, the way he spoke as he mentioned the uses of the dagger, and when it didn't fit in. Wasn't it obvious a dagger couldn't be used in a sword fight? Really she gauged from this lesson one thing, she was weak when it came to fighting and honestly, she agreed. Though she was quite shocked at the way the blade seemed fit for her, made for her? Surprising still. She seemed to tense as the blade was put into her hands, surprising considering she took up a blade so easily to pierce the chest of Jonathan. His fingers moved against her own to show her the proper way to hold it and she was only mildly aware he was shifting her by nudge of body and boot into the right stance for it. Get familiar with its weight? Ha! The thing hardly seemed to weigh anything! "Alen, I've never held a sword, club or axe...so I think this will infinitely be easier then you think it will. but yes I understand."Her head turned just so to catch sight of him beside her. A delicate brow inched upward. "Our bodies must be positioned for the blow? What about using the body as an attack?"
Alendral: "True enough." he didn't admonish her for speaking of turn, quite the contary, he seemed to enjoy it. "I had merely meant that when the weapon is withdrawn, that's it. You've made it life or death. So never draw it unless you mean to kill, or at least are willing to do it. It escalates any problem you might have, so use it carefully." the Illusionist smiled, even grinned patiently again. "What, no sword? Not even for an act? Alright then... let me demonstrate. Really, as a parrying weapon knives are somewhat limited, at least until you become an expert. You'd have to use the hilt, but frankly, you should never be in a straight up blade fight anyway. What I mean is that you have a free hand, free legs, a free body. For example." he stepped lightly around her while he attempted to explain, withdrawing a blade hidden from on his belt as he seemed to observe her. "More often then not, you're going to be using this weapon while entangled. The most common way to entangle.." he stopped behind her and stepped forward, gingerly wrapping an arm around her neck, the other weapon held high. "From here. This is one of the best positions for it. Your ability to strike back is limited, you can't see me, I have... almost, complete control of your body." to say nothing of his proximity, practically cheek to cheek to her, there was no wiping the grin off his face. "So, more than just 'Where can I stick the knife in?' you should be thinking. 'How can I get them in a position like this?' And... of course, if they get you, how do you escape? You have any ideas how to escape, Ursula?" his brows lifted lightly again, silently encouraging an answer.
Ursula: "Fake swords, fake scenes...I can't really use play scenes as a way of attack, well I can but my enemy isn't going to do what my accomplice in a play would do." What that a smug look on her face, no simply relaying information. Most people thought sword fights in plays just played by ear, that wasn't true. Actors were good at what they did in order to make it look flawless, but unrehearsed. She shut up as he began to explain once more. Her chin tilted up as his arm wrapped around it. A delicate brow etched upward. Of course Ursula never expected Alen to hurt her but cheek to cheek, she felt his cheek move and knew he was grinning. "Oh your enjoying this far to much me thinks." She purred, using her words to shift and position her body just so, against she cleared her throat but this time her hand wiggled with blade in hand, right near his groin but of course she wasn't pressing in, just making him aware of where she had it until she finally spoke. "Well this one way comes to mind..but of course that's not all.." Twirling the blade away from his groin, she reached for the hand at her neck. "If I didn't want to maime my attacker, merely get away, I could.." As she spoke her hand fastened around his wrist, with a yank, she pulled it away from her neck while one foot went back to entangle his while the other stepped forward and she twirled, pulling her foot forward to knock him off balance but stopped as her hand locked tight with his to keep him upright rather then fall. Least he would get the point right? "Both good ideas?" Her head tilted just so as she grinned. cokey, somewhat.
Alendral: "What? maybe a little." he replied in jest. The blade at the groin actually didn't impress him much at first--clever, but all he had to do was shift a little bit and that opportunity would be lost. "Not bad, I suppose, but--..." and so came the next demonstration, which he had to admit was rather clever. Of course, it wouldn't have worked on him--he would have shifted the minute he felt her touch his arm, but Ursula, god forbid, would not be going up against someone like him for a long time. Pulled off balance, stumbling a single step before restrained, the Illusionist smirked playfully. "Not bad at all. " before, with blurring speed he promptly reversed it--shifting his foot in a mirror of her own and exerting his weight to take her down a split second later, all the dexterity of an escape artist and a spy sending her reeling before she could react--he even would have knocked the wind out of her if he didn't bring his arm around her in such a way to take the brunt of it, now face to face with her a plainly victorious expression. "But... not mastered yet. Unfortunately, you're dead now." he replied. "And... now that I have you in a perhaps more comfortable position." the parody of lovers, more like, one leg half-wrapped around hers. "Let's talk more on to the knife, shall we? Now, first of course is the classic throat slit, but let me warn you that one is harder than you think. " he brought the blade up to her neck and very gently rested the tip on it--drawing no blood, but testing her trust in him in subtly. "There's a lot of muscle and sinew to cut through, more than you'd think, so don't go light. Furthermore the throat is very naturally an area a person wants to protect, and it's small size makes it easier. Bear it in mind. Surprising areas include..." he shifted slightly and held the dagger to a point near her shoulder. "Here..." pulling away from her now, he backed up till he was sitting slightly and rose her left arm." Here... here, right through here. It's a small point, but strike here--you feel that?" he touched at a point beneath her arm with two fingers, feeling between a pair of ribs. "Right.. there. Right through the heart. " and so he'd continue about his demonstrations there, illustrating a few more points--below the ribcage, major arteries, patiently answering any questions she might have. "Like I said. Your first strike, should ideally, be your last. The longer you fight with a knife, the more likely it is you're to be seriously hurt or killed in the proceedings. We're masters of subtlety, and Knife fights are brutal, physical affairs. Always be of the mind to end them swiftly, with as little noise and fuss as possible."
Ursula: "Glad to see my charms aren't completely lost on you."She teased in return when he approved of both methods. Of course there would be flaws, she wasn't a master at this like he was. It would take time and hard work. His lightening speed reaction and display did leave her reeling, enough that she didn't understand what was going on till she was pressed against him with her arms around his neck to keep her from falling flat to the floor and wind knocked out. The smug look on his face was met with a display of her tongue in his direction before she was letting out a laugh. "Duly noted..but comfortable position, we'll see about that." She teased with a roll of chocolate eyes before she was giving him her full attention once more. She was perhaps more relaxed then she should of been with a blade at her throat but her trust in him went far deeper then even he would ever realize. "Got it.."She spoke as he explained cutting a throat but a delicate brow rose. "How is the shoulder a good target?" Lips slammed shut as she watched him move back. He pressed on the point between her ribs, were one could get to the heart and she jumped with a small hum of a laugh, ticklish, most definitely. "Ok got that one" Hands lifted up that she didn't need to be shown that one again. She listened, watching, memorizing the places he pointed out with the help of her body. God forbid though she ever had to use them. Still she knew in one part of her, she would, someday. "All right, I understand." She fingered the knife still in her hand, chocolate hues shifted down to the blade, away from him as she worked the information over in her head. "Alen.."she finally spoke after several minutes of silence. "Your not worried about turning me into a cold blooded killer?" chocolate hues rose from where her thumb was running over the cool blade to meet his gaze once more.
Alendral: "Stab a man there and he'll bleed out in moments. Not a pleasant or clean way to go, but an efficient one in the long run." he replied patiently enough to her query--doubtless she had a similar one near her thigh, as well. As for her question at the end... well, she might as well have stabbed him with the blade herself. It made him freeze, briefly, one of the painfully few moments she saw the mask crack, before sense and the playful, borderline amorous expression asserted itself again and he put a small amount of space between them and took a breath again. "No. not as such, Ursula. No. not to sound insulting, but I don't think you have that in you." and he was honest when he said it, though Vance would argue that wasn't the problem entirely. Still, the idea of raising one sent him chills, precisely because he had seen a man who had done it before. "No... but to correct you, murder is always cold-blooded, and you should get comfortable with that fact before it surprises you entirely. Trust me... you're going to remember the first time you have to, and it's going to be unpleasant. " he moved to sit up and sheathe his own blade in a smooth gesture. "That's yours, by the way. I had it made for you. Take it with you whenever you do work for me. "
Ursula: Ah so the shoulder thing she got now. But if he ever tried to show her one where her thigh was concerned, he would find out how quickly he could end up on the floor! Her head tilted just so as she saw the look cross his face, like a ripple upon the glassy surface of a lake. Never did Alen's face weaver, even when he smiled but this seemed something different. A glimpse of it and his face seemed to harden again while she was replaying that look in her mind. With him, her mask slipped all the time but his... this was something to remember, not to use against him, she would never do that but it was something to remind her that while he was an idle in her mind, he was still human. The blade was tapped against the palm of her hand as she listened. A delicate brow arched once more. "The fact doesn't bother me Alen, I stabbed Jonathan..provided that you all ready struck the killing blows...I don't...dwell on what happened with Jonathan, but I often remember what it felt like. to plunge the blade into him. I contend with the fact that, the people I will have to kill, will be for the greater good..there will be purpose behind it. I think that is why I don't mind the thought of it so much. Although I do agree, the experience will be quite different." She tapped the blade against her palm, turning her gaze down to it when he said it was hers, he had it made for her. This time she masked the surprise she felt as her hand closed, very carefully around it. "Thank you.."With no where to, well stick it right now, she held onto it as she shifted to lean against a pillar in the room. "Alen..."She spoke again after a few more seconds of silence. "I know why your doing this, potential and all, but.."She stopped, her face twisting to find the right words. "If it were different, if you had..say affections...for me, where you didn't...want to be without me.."Ok this was beginning to sound like she was admitting she had feelings for him, which wasn't true, at least not in that sense. She had affections for him, she just wasn't sure really what they were. "Well that's to say, if you had duties, and I knew it, and tried to push you away..well" Hmm what the hell was her question. "Well if you wouldn't allow me to push you away, what would you do in my situation?"
Alendral: One would be surprised that he knew what she was talking about--both figuratively (though to be honest, it was a bit of a stretch with so many hypotheticals she was talking in circle. "This is about Marke, isn't it?" he responded, side-glancing her for a moment. "I haven't had you watched, mind you, but Vance insists on keeping an eye on you. " he didn't bother skating around the point. If nothing else he didn't want that between them. Being honest between the pair was terribly important. "First off, to be fair, if I genuinely loved you I would never ask you to take this life, and risk bringing you into it, but this isn't about my situation, now is it? So the question I have for you Ursula is... how do you really feel? Is it his duty you fear for, or is it yours? " he let his eyes meet her, try to peer under the mask, if only briefly. "... If it's his duty you're so fearful of, I'd say to hell with it. What, the duty of lounging around, being rich? the man has nothing he fights or feels for. any meaning to that man's life is better than what he has. But you... well, your duties... well, now that is a more difficult question..."
Ursula: Her face twisted, both with him asking if it was about Marke, he would know that look meant he was right but it also twisted with the mention of Vance's name, if she wasn't careful she was going to cut herself the way her hand tightened on the hilt of the dagger and the blade itself. Releasing the blade into his lap, chocolate eyes turned in his direction. "So you don't genuinely love me since you did bring me into this life, hmm?"There was only a half tease to that. Had to lighten the mood somehow and throw him off from looking beyond the mask she always had up but Alen had a way of pulling her mask off without even touching her. That frightened her, that he could look at her and see through her masks, straight into her soul. It also frightened her to answer that question of his. What did she really feel? She wasn't even willing to admit that to herself, how could she admit it to him? Besides that, she had never felt what she felt now, ever, in her lifetime. How did you put a name on something you never felt before? "So you know about his rough treatment then? If Vance has been following me?" Lord help her if she ever met Vance face to face again, she would introduce him to her fist if he ever brought it up. The fact the man had been following her made her shudder. "Let me say it this way, I fear..."She paused and sighed, shaking her head as she tried to find the right words to describe it. "I fear his involvement in my duties.."she had to snort when Alen described Marke's life. The man did have fight in him, for her, that was partly the problem. "He is engaged Alen, and I have...tried..to explain that nothing can come of the two of us. He is a nobleman with certain obligations, to himself and his clan, to marry nobility is one of them, I've explained that I am a whore, with no background, no history to show that I would be a suitable match, to say there would be uprisings in his clan if he wanted to marry a whore, well that's minimal...not to mention the hidden part of my life. I don't want to get married Alen, I'm not cut out for that..I'm not cut out for that sort of loyalty. Mind you, my loyalty to you, I hope you'll never question that."She was babbling now and knew it, slender lips slammed shut, creating a thin line as she pursed them together. After a minute she sighed and continued. "Your my best friend Alen...tell me what to do.."
Alendral: "Ursula, when I first met you, I decided I had to do one of two things; either I had to sleep with you or I had to make you happy in some way. It took me a while but I decided on the latter." he grinned playfully, trying to bring some levity into the situation. He was well aware of how tense this Vance/Ursula thing was getting, and soon he'd have to intervene, but strangely, Claramae had asked him to abstain. to let it 'play out' in her words. It was a bit frustrating, but he heeded her advice. "First, let's get one thing straight, Ursula, the moment you chose to take under my wing you became far more than you credit yourself for. Make no mistake of it, you're a servant of this Kingdom and one that should be venerated in their own right, even if she may never tell a soul. I'll not have you make so little of your self worth ever again, but what you are willing to sacrifice is admirable for anyone." if it was one thing he wouldn't have, it was her thinking little of herself--the confidence she lacked, despite all, was something he'd do away with. He paused, quietly, and let his eyes shift a moment. "...Ursula... you say a word and I'd settle this for you, but you wouldn't like how it ended. You want my advice as a friend... than the answer is.. if you value him, forget the rest. Even if that means giving this up, so be it. I'll support your decision, even if it may mean our relationship is at an end." Bitter and cruel, but the truth. If she married, his reasons for 'visits' would end, and Alendral would become the illusionist--Alendral the spy would disappear completely. " For what he loses, I'd say it's his choice. He turns his back on his own clan and family for it... than it's either the right reasons or the wrong ones, and either way it speaks volumes of him. but neither of that is important. You know what the truth is, Ursula? It's you. 'you' don't want to get married. You don't feel ready to devote yourself to someone so utterly, so entirely. And you shouldn't. I would never question your loyalty to me, but I only ask that you serve in the interests of those you love and care for in your own right.. I don't ask what he asks of you. I've never known that kind of loyalty myself, not ever. I don't think I could be anymore ready for it than you could be. So Ursula.. if you really want a directive from me... than don't. "
Ursula: A hum of a laugh passed her lips at his admission of when he first met her. Glad he went with the latter for the first probably and most likely would not of lead them here. She liked this outcome better. Her head tilted, watching the blade in her hands as he spoke. He knew very well she didn't hold a lot of stock in herself and no matter how much he pushed she was more then she thought herself, it was going to take time to believe it. Her head lifted to meet his face as he spoke on, not an endless droll she couldn't keep her mind to. No Alen's voice seemed to flow like water in a tunnel, fluid and capturing, he had her full attention. "Alen, I don't want him dead, so no I don't want you to settle this for me.." She leaned forward for a moment before letting out a sigh as her back pressed against the pillar once more, he continued and she listened though her gaze moved about the room, better absorbing his words that way. "I don't want to give this up.."She cut him off as he spoke it and her eyes caught his again. "This gives me so much more purpose. Purpose I never even dreamed possible. Alen, I can't...explain"Again her head shook as she tried to find the right words. "Its not that I am not ready now to get married, I don't...I can't ever see myself married, devoted entirely to one human being, a wife..a mother.."she shuddered. "Children just...aren't in the cards for me. Marriage isn't in the cards for me. I never could see myself married with children, I still can not. Not ever, I don't think. But this..life, I was going to tell Marke about it, or ask you about it but that would endanger you and I could never endanger you." She let out another sigh as she smacked her head against the pillar, though not hard enough to hurt herself. For a moment she let the turmoil of what she had been feeling for the last few days show on her face, it was agony but the mask slid back into place a second later. "I care about him, but faced with a choice of..well you or him...I choose you. I choose this." Chocolate hues fell to him once more. "He will always be lost to that one shadow of my life, he wouldn't have all of me and I can't..do that to him. It's not just his decision at this point, he acts on...an emotion for me, but he doesn't seem to realize it doesn't only effect him, he has sisters he wants them to marry for..well love, but well, and if he had any incline to be with me, well those positions go out the door. I can't allow him to do that to his sisters."while she related what she thought, she suddenly realized she all ready had the answer, all ready knew what she was going to do. She all ready made a choice. Slowly she inhaled them let it out in a deep sigh. "so, how do I hurt him, to save him?" Honestly, everything she tried hadn't worked, so now she needed help.
Alendral: He was, in fact, touched by how much she wanted this, touched and humbled in ways she might never understand--and terrified in a way he would never let her understand, god willing, he would not see her participating in the vicious cycle he was ensared in. Carefully standing and moving to her side, a hand placed by her elbow, an oddly affectionate gesture from the Illusionist, more so for not carrying any real double meaning. "You're right. it would put us all in danger. Telling him. But to be honest, Ursula... I have no doubts that you can imagine many ways to hurt him. Your heart, on the other hand, may not be able to bear much." he sighed lightly again and subtly leaned against her, not for needing comfort as much as offering it. "Were I to speak devoid of heart, I would tell you to arrange to see you lying with another, or to tell him you tire of him and his antics and so am tired of perpetuating the game. Break his heart so utterly that he goes cursing your name and never once hoping for more. But... despite what you claim, Ursula, I think you care for him too deeply to destroy the man in such a way. So I know that such scenarios will be useless. But he will not take no for an answer, and so you must eliminate all possibility of such a thing. " he seemed to muse over the ideas, grimly contemplating and discounting them each in turn. How ironic, he found, that he was trying to find a way to settle both this and leave her heart at peace--so many years ago, he would have dismissed it utterly.
Ursula: Her face turned up in his direction at the fell of his hand at her elbow but when he leaned into her, she gratefully sank against him. Damn him for knowing she needed comfort and damn her for needing it so much right now. Her mind screamed at her to block herself up, to stop letting people in but her heart stubbornly reminded her that she had said it truthfully, he was, her best friend and the comfort he offered was needed in more ways then one. To both help her struggling soul and to help her brave to what she knew she needed to do. "Now you know, best friend goes so far, you keep seeing into my very soul like that and Ill start to worry." It was a half hearted tease, something she lightly did, always in his presence but not something she put herself completely into like she normally did. "Honestly Alen, I think my heart needs to feel this..needs to break...in order to bear my decisions, in order to get on with life and allow him to get along with his. So really, any scenario is better then nothing..seeing me in the bed of another, wouldn't stop him, anger him yes, but he wouldn't give up. I know that much about Marke, and he knows now I have been trying to push him away, so outright saying I am sick of him won't work either...well..maybe..." She sighed as her arm curled around Alen's arm as her head laid upon his shoulder. "Come on Alen, I thought you were creative"Again, half heartedly teasing him. "Course, could always say I am engaged or secretly married Vance" Now that was a tease for she shuddered and no doubt Alen knew she had NO like for pretending to be the mans wife at the clan meeting a week or so ago.
Alendral: He smiled, however softly and worked an arm wholly around her shoulder. "Tell you what. We'll work this out and you ask any one question of me and get one secret." the offer was in jest, though it would be offered were she really to want it. Perhaps in some strange way, Alen felt a need to speak on some of it himself. "Let's.. just put that one aside for the moment. " he chuckled. "I think if I instructed Vance to act in such a way he'd murder me on the spot. That man... really doesn't like you!" he shook his head and seemed to muse it again. He than sighed, and raised his head a moment. "... Very well. The other simpler answers are to remove you from the equation by forces believed to be out of his control. You could disappear--I could have a place for you here, peremently, under this house. It would mean giving up your place as a Courtesan, and some of the flexability that goes with it. Unfortunate, but should it come to that... arrested, perhaps, for crimes, locked up and lost to him. " he struggled to find a way to deter the stubborn without killing him. "...Lord. Marry the Book-keeeper? I understand he's been visiting you lately. Honestly, Ursula, tell me you aren't..." so he wasn't keeping so close a watch to her private business as all that, at least. "Or... perhaps we take what already exists and we shift it. He doesn't need to know of us as spies... but he does think us as criminals, does he not?" he sighed lightly again. "You're tied to an underground. You're an asset. You pledge yourself to anything else, they destroy you. Word gets out, it destroys him. It's a half-truth, in that case. But we find something to leverage him with, he'll have no other choice..."
Ursula: She hummed in amusement, but also to herself. The only reason she disliked Vance was because he disliked her and made no point to hide it and she'd done nothing to him! Yet the offer of one secret of Alen! She mused that one over in her head. "I think I might take you up on that offer, only give me a minute to think of a question. Less..you wanna tell me one secret of yours without a question?" Chocolate eyes turned up hopefully in his direction with a grin as his hand came around her shoulders. She was entirely to comfortable like this, yet oddly enough it didn't frighten her as much as realizing she had feelings for Marke did. "No, I don't want to leave the Lily, Shaden needs me..as much as a courtesan to help run things and besides, we need that cover, I have nothing else without it.. and you know it. Locked up, not bad but with Marke's money he would hire me a lawyer to get me out of it.."Her nose wrinkled, her head left his chest as she gave him a look of disgust. "NO I haven't been sleeping with the bookkeeper! Honestly Alen, eww!" It wasn't that the man...boy...wasn't attractive in some way but it would be pushing all her acting skills to even pull THAT one off even if it ever came to that. "An the boy would probably faint if he had to brooch playing that ruse. Besides, Marke would tear off his head and the boy doesn't stand a chance in a fight." Her head returned to his shoulder, laying half towards his chest as she 'snuggled' up to him. "Perhaps the only way to play it is to play like I really don't want him, we've never played games with each other, always honesty, perhaps its time for a lie. To tell him I don't want him after all...but, well he all ready thinks your more to me then what you really are...hmm, if your willing, I could play to it like I don't care for him, that I care for you and I am giving him up, for you.."He couldn't see it but her eyes were shifting left to right as a hand lifted to press against her bottom lip, a common trait she had when thinking. "Vance pretty much is out of the question anyway's, the man can't act worth a damn..but you can, then again, I can't really ask that of you. You've your own life outside of the shadows, something I know nothing of, I wouldn't want you to hurt someone your close to, if there is anyone like that."
Alendral: "Well then I'd just be telling you a secret I'd be willing to part with! not much of a fair trade." he riposted playfully. The last point was salient enough, it blended with his head well enough and he shrugged lightly again, looking to her appraisingly as he shook his head. "The people I'm close to are well aware of the roles I have to play, and the things I have to do to achieve them. You don't ask too much of it." he shrugged lightly again. "If this is the action you believe will shake him, I am willing to play at it. After all, I can certainly hold my own in a fight, I'm capable of playing a part... not that I could imagine it very hard madly desiring a woman like you." with the playful quirk of a brow and grin, shrugging his shoulders a little bit again. "So be it. You can't be engaged to him. Truth is, you're terribly in love with me. Been that way for a while, turns out. Done and done." he smiled faintly again and rubbed her arm. It was strange that he felt some sadness in the ploy--playing a part so he could deprive her of the real thing. "How do you like rings by the way? Nice and fancy or somethin' simple, elegant?" more banter. It would tear her up enough on her own, no need to compile it.
Ursula: "Fine then, tell me a secret your not willing to part with. Here I'll even help you. Alen, what's one secret your not willing to part with?" There, she phrased it into a question and grinned up at him with a small hum of a laugh. "He never asked me to marry him, I just have to keep him from doing so and breaking his engagement with Lorna McCulla." Her arm inched about his waist as she held onto him, more holding herself in the position she was across his chest as well. A smile tugged against her lips at his ploy, yes it would work. It would hurt him, Marke, and it would...yes envitably hurt her to. Sighing, she shifted against him and turned to lay upon the ground, turned opposite of him so she could see him, her arms behind her head. "Simple and elegant...but why would a ring need to be involved? Do you think it needs to seem as if we are engaged or do you think it will work just making it seem as if we are together?"Ha she was asking him this when she knew Marke better then he did? Even she did not understand why she asked that!
Alendral: "It'd certainly drive the point home. If the man has any respect for you at all, letting you find love would over-ride his own desires. " he didn't quite follow to lay beside her--let her dictate what she needed, more or less. He knew the real reason she'd ask. "If you believe less would be sufficient to drive him away Ursula, than it does not require it. I merely work with certainties. No sense rending her heart in the process. With the decision made and the exact nature of it only to be carried out later, he instead decided to grant her a respite, closing his eyes lightly again as he sighed and dwelled on it, some secret he could give that he'd never want her to know. Mulling it over again, he reached over and lightly touched at the locks of hair obscuring her face, pausing meaningfully. "...How about why I felt so strongly that you were to be trained as a Spy, then, Hmm? And why when I first laid eyes upon you I found myself struck beyond words...." he left the point to hang, carefully. He had given her plenty reasons, though, and so he felt the need to add, his voice dipping softly. "...And what I'm so afraid of when I look into your eyes..."
Ursula: "Actually, that is quite true. I hadn't thought of that." Chocolate eyes rolled to find his from staring up at the ceiling. Mulling what she was to do over in her head. It seemed so strange, not because she never thought of doing it, but because it reminded her of the chess game she and Nathan had played and how she knocked down her King instead of the Queen. How she had known then how close the game resembled her life, or how really it had predicted an omen. It was probably just ironic, just coincidence then anything else but to her, it seemed to make sense. An ill omen for later, which was not coming true. He was so careful of her heart, knowing perhaps how it ached even behind the mask of calm she placed so carefully ahead of any pain. A smile cracked on the side of her lips as she watched him, lids falling closed briefly as he moved the strand away from her face before her eyes found his again. "That's more then one question for one secret promised. But yes, those seem like good questions, ones I'd like to know the answer to."
Alendral: The lifting of old wounds wasn't easy, not when they were so recently, painfully dug up. The truth was, he'd scarcely made the connection himself, at least not at first. He wasn't even sure it would make sense to her, but he would try. He squared his shoulders, if only slightly. "I was a Noviate. Just like you, under tutelage of Claramae and her Master... in any event, as part of my training I was made to meet a woman, a Courtesan, much like yourself, in fact." the hint of nostalgia creeped over his expression--ages ago. The memory of her garbed for her craft, devilishly alluring and yet capable of acting as if she was unaware of it, mingled with the emotions of the young uncertain he was. Smiling mirthfully. "Sufficed to say we enjoyed a particularly close relationship and she rather brought me out of my boyhood, but that's not strictly relevant to the story. No. what she was though... confident. Capable of dissembly. Certain in her movements, her actions.. and gods, so terribly clever. Claramae, god... she couldn't stand her and yet she had quite a bit of respect for her." he shook his head playfully again. "Anyway... over time I came to admire her. She saw a potential in me, she once told me. The chance for something... well, I never got to find out." the smile, bit by bit, sunk back into his mask, he lowered his gaze to her and let it fall forward. "She died. Killed. By Gottschalk. Alexander Gottschalk, my old master--the same one who gave me my name. My real one. Not just killed, either. Defiled, tortured, left to suffer hour upon hour before she expired. It was written into every cut, every bruise... every..." he banished it away, not intending for it to take such a dark turn. "The lady took me under her wing and in many ways is as responsible into shaping me into the man I am today. And... I think she would have liked you. I suppose in some way, I thought it might be able compensation. I saw... a fragment of her in you, and I just... did something selfish, in the long run..." the very story left him almost uncharestically shaken. For as hard as it was for Ursula to let a bit of herself show, it was agonizing for Alendral. he knew the story created a dozen questions for whatever it answered. He felt almost stupid for saying it--he liked the idea that Ursula thought he was something noble, and felt painfully less noble for admitting it to her.
Ursula: She captured his hand when it moved away from her face. Her fingers weaving with his own and only with him, would this action mean exactly what it was, a need to comfort him as much as he comforted her with no other underlining reason. Her smile fell as she listened to his story, never once did her eyes break away from his face, pulling in each word as so the look upon his face as he spoke them. She gauged what it meant by real name, and if the man gave it to him, well she could guess what it was, but she wouldn't speak it. He wasn't asking her to. She saw the way it pulled at him, to let this out, as much as he shoved it behind a mask. That was one thing they had in common, he saw past her masks, and she saw past some of his. Her thumb stroked lazily over his knuckles. She had questions but something told her, now was not the right time for them. "Thank you..." She spoke in a low whispering purr. For the story, for giving her some small piece of him for that was in essence what he was doing, what she felt she did every time she opened up and told him something of her. Also to compare her with someone he obviously admired and cared about. It spoke volumes. Her fingers tightened with his as she tugged, dragged him down to lay beside her. "I'm glad you were selfish.."
Alendral: "Ursula." he said her name once, meaning painful behind it, whilst she dragged him down. Such a strange thing for the pair to do, the middle of the floor, though he did little to dissuade it. "...Now that you've heard it, I need to promise you one more thing. And it will sound like something that doesn't need to be said, and it will sound foolish and sentimental... but I need to say it. I won't let him hurt you, Ursula. I promise. Not like he hurt her." and he would explain nothing behind why that was something he needed to say, only that he did. The words passed through him and left him feeling both strangely touched and deeply troubled. I'm glad you were selfish... he wondered if that sentiment would remain in the coming months, or if she would end cursing it in the end, before turning and smiling genuinely at her. "Now, one last sentimental and foolish promise. You'll be happy one day. It may take a long time, god knows I once never imagined it, but you'll find it. in the meantime, I merely hope that what I give you will allow you to stay the course. "